Finding Fulfillment Beyond the Ordinary

Speaker 1: Good morning everybody. Welcome back to the podcast Season two, episode two in the new studio. Speaker 2: Season two. Speaker 1: Good morning. Speaker 2: Good morning. Speaker 1: We hope you're enjoying our podcast and the podcast season two is probably going to be a little bit more focused on topics. I think I don't know why I said that, but it came to me. Good morning. Speaker 2: Good morning Dr. Speaker 1: Jenny, Good morning. Well, it is 2025, January 4th 2025. Speaker 2: January 4th. Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, we're already four days into the year. Speaker 2: Four days in. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Whipping along. Speaker 1: I got a question for you, Dr Jenny. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Speaker 2: Depends on the dog. Speaker 1: Depends on the dog. That's exactly my topic this morning, because it's been kind of the highlight of our last couple weeks is are you open? Are we open? As humans, we have a tendency to believe that we can't learn something. Um, or we're scared of learning something by you know, we get embarrassed when we mess up, and we are currently in our 50s and just demolished our entire living room to turn it into a music room, and we now have four instruments in our living room and are working on getting we're going to get some drums, and so actually we have more of the instruments than that. We have six, seven, seven instruments in there. Speaker 2: Well, we don't have all the instruments in there, you haven't put your little drum in there. Well, we don't have all the instruments in there. You haven't put your little drum in there. Speaker 1: Yeah, my drum or my native flute and your native flute. So I guess there's about nine or ten instruments we're learning to play music. Speaker 2: Listen, it's a whole like music room. If you want to come and see how it feels to play an instrument, we probably have it On the 8th. The air piano will be here. Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think I forgot about that. What do they call that? Melancholy, something or other Melodolic keyboard it's where you blow into it to play a sound . Speaker 2: I think the sling is like air piano. It has this corrugated tube where you blow into the tube and it's attached to like this little hand keyboard. Speaker 1: Yeah, I know Funny story. Our activity coordinator hired an entertainer for our New Year's Eve celebration. Yeah, we thought he was bringing a band. Speaker 2: We did. We thought he was going all out , man, and he did. He brought a 32-key air piano, not just the 15-key. Speaker 1: Oh, he did bring a 32-key air piano and he was carrying around his amplified sound on his belt via a Bluetooth speaker. Speaker 2: Yes. Speaker 1: And the look on everybody's face was priceless. Speaker 2: Yeah, it was quite comical. Speaker 1: I mean, don't get me wrong, it would have been a good little opener. Speaker 2: I think he has the potential to be like a dinner music. Speaker 1: Yeah, like walking around. Speaker 2: Walking around the dining room while they're eating . Speaker 1: But not for that price. Speaker 2: But not for that price, absolutely not. That was ridiculous. Yeah, he was charging like $50 a key per hour. Speaker 1: I know it was insanity, anyway. So she found this air what do you call it? Air piano and ordered it. But anyway, so back to the topic. Being open to learning is what we're here for. Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I think what it's about for us is following. Just what we always talk about is following your highest excitement, your highest joy, and just running with it, whatever that looks like, reminding people that you're not a kid anymore and you can have as many toys as you want and you never have to clean out your toy box if you don't want to. Speaker 1: Just because mom and dad said so. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And I'm going to tell everybody you ready for the myth bust. Speaker 2: Let us have it. Speaker 1: There are no kids that really want your old toys. Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know that. I completely agree with that. Did your mom and dad tell? Speaker 1: you that. Speaker 2: Of course. Speaker 1: We got to clean out your toy box because there's kids. Speaker 2: To be honest with you , my parents never told me that no, okay, mine did I, however, found myself telling my kids that oh because in my younger days, when I was pretty caught up in the, the house has to be clean and everything has a place . Speaker 1: Everything has a Typical Texas image. Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of keeping up with the Joneses thing. And when the toy box got too full it was like okay, time to downsize. And I don't really even know why, because I've always given they always had the rule of your room is your space and it can look however you want. There's no rules there, as long as you keep the door shut and keep the crap out of my living room. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Just to kind of give them a space if they needed to be a messy kid, so that I didn't make them live in my box, so to speak. So that was the compromise. Yeah, so to speak. So that was the compromise is, once I got older, to where I wasn't cleaning the room, I was like okay, this is your space. If you want to be a messy kid, then be a messy kid, because I can remember my father getting on to my sisters relentlessly. I was that OCD kid. Was that OCD kid Like? I took cardboard and subsectioned my drawers into compartments for socks and panties and tank tops and I mean like everything. Literally I was like monk on TV . Everything had a place, every place had a thing. If you came in and moved it, it aggravated me. Speaker 1: So just don't even come in my room right. Speaker 2: Yeah, my sisters, my younger sister, she was kind of probably that halfway point between me and my middle sister and my middle sister was just a tornado. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Just a tornado, and in our early days they had to share a room, and because I was the oldest, I guess by I don't know authority of the king, I got to have my own room and they had to share, and so one side of the room would be somewhat organized and the other side would just literally look like a tornado came through. My sister would wear clothes out of the floor. She didn't know if they were clean or if they were dirty. They definitely were never ironed, and I can remember hearing my dad just constantly fuss and complain at her and then at them. Because of them sharing a room, the other one would get in trouble, and so then what ended up happening is my younger sister would end up cleaning the entire room so she wouldn't get in trouble, and my middle sister got off the hook of having to have her space cleaned , and so I didn't want that for my kids. That's where I'm going with the story. Yeah, so I was like you know here, this is your space, your bedroom. Keep the door shut if it's messy and if things start oozing out of the door, then we're going to have a conversation, because I don't want my space to look like that. Speaker 1: Right, I never. Really. There's two times in my life as a child I can remember having an abundance of anything, and that was Hot Wheels, cars and He-Man and the Master of the Universe. Other than that, I really remember no other toys. I didn't really ever have that much. It's crazy because the perspective of my parents were that I had a ton. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And my mom got mad one time when I told her I mean, we were a low-income family. We didn't have the money for me to have an abundance of anything, for it to be spread everywhere. Speaker 2: Well, I mean, and we were the same way, we did a lot of moving. And we were the same way, we did a lot of moving. And when you move that much, it's not beneficial to have a lot of crap to have to pack. So our toys were very limited in our younger years. Now, when we got to a point where we were in the same place, which by this time I was in high school. Speaker 1: Then we had a little bit more, but then we were past the age of like toys in a toy box. You know what it caused? What it caused me to do is when I did start working and have making my own money is I would buy a ton of crap. I would just blow money and buying things that my friends had or whatever. Like I remember the first time I went and bought me a white pair of bugle boy jeans. I was so excited and my dad made fun of me for buying white jeans. It was all from that commercial when that lady pulls over on the hitchhiker and says, pardon me, but are those bugle boy jeans you're wearing? And I had to have them because she was hot and he was cool looking. I don't even remember the commercial, honestly, but what it caused me to do later on in life is kind of minimize myself and not open the door for new things. And I mean I did it for the kids, you know, because my son had a stinking recliner in his bedroom. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: He had a recliner and his gaming system and a fancy gaming chair. He had all this stuff. I think he had every Nerf gun in existence. Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like our generation definitely went through most of this. Speaker 1: A pendulum, a pendulum with their kids. Speaker 2: I agree Because my kids were the same way. Anything and everything I wanted to be able to have or play with, I bought it for them so that I could play with it. Speaker 1: Yeah, my son came home from first grade crying because all his friends had cell phones and he didn't. Speaker 2: First grade. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1: I was like y'all are in first grade, my friend had him daddy. Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like y'all are in first grade, my friend's having daddy. Yeah, I mean, I can remember getting my son a cell phone in third grade. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: And it wasn't even a conversation, it was just like it was the norm. Speaker 1: That's crazy, isn't it? Speaker 2: In third grade. Speaker 1: It was nuts. And so what it made me do when my son came home is because I remember that feeling my friends having things that I didn't. And so what do I do Him? And I go down to the cell phone store and I buy him a fancy cell phone, right, or I'd say a fancy cell phone. Back then it wasn't really fancy cell phones out yet, they weren't smartphones. Speaker 2: I mean at the time they were fancy. I got him a BlackBerry, I think , if I remember right. Speaker 1: Oh, that's fancy in that day and age. Yeah, I had the. Speaker 2: BlackBerry was top of the line. Yeah, it was, and he could probably work it better than you could. Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, most definitely. Speaker 2: In a very quick, short amount of time. Speaker 1: Yeah, and so it kind of marries in to being open, because no matter who we are, what we are and how we are, we should always make ourselves open to, as you call it, the next feel good place. Right and if you have that, you know fleeting thought of anything. Stop and check with it, Like, for example, this music room in our apartment or in our house, started with a thought at Christmas. We were driving down the road and I said to Jenny hey, what are we doing for Christmas this year? Because we don't normally buy Christmas for each other, because we just do Christmas year round. Whenever we want something, we just go get it. And she said well, I think I'm going to learn to Play a musical instrument, so you're probably going to buy me a musical instrument for Christmas. I was like, bet, let's do it. And we go. Literally we turned. We were on our way to go grocery shopping, I think. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: We went to the music store, came home with electric guitar and amp and a cello and hence started the journey of being open to learning new things. Speaker 2: Well, even down to being open to transforming your house non-traditional. Yeah, like we. So we live in a two-bedroom apartment. So it has a little living room, it's got a dining room, two bedrooms, two baths. You know, it's just your normal two-bedroom apartment. Speaker 1: It's about 1,400 square feet, something like that . Speaker 2: I literally got rid of all of the furniture except this big-ass coffee table we don't know what to do with. Speaker 1: Yeah, I know right, we tried to give it away. He couldn't. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a nice coffee table. Speaker 2: And what I found was for half a second, when I made that decision and the couch actually went away, I was like eek, yeah, it was kind of like a give it away remorse, kind of like the buyer's remorse. It was like, oh Lord, what did I do? Yeah, like my house is not this white picket fence American dream house anymore. And so I did have to like release and redefine what the American dream is for me, because for half a second I was like, oh no, am I okay with this ? Am I, am I okay with this? And then self said, well, whether you're okay or not. And then self said, well, whether you're okay or not? the couch and chair are gone, and so it's either buy musical equipment or buy a new couch and chair. Speaker 1: It's crazy how people react, because when we started telling our friends, hey, does anybody want this? I mean it is a Cindy Crawford home edition white leather sofa and recliner. You know we paid like seven grand for the set and we started telling our friends we're gonna hey, does anybody want it? We're gonna give it away, and it's like two years old, and they were like what you're gonna do what? Speaker 2: so it just exposed to me their lack of openness right , exactly even just their lack of openness of what your living room is supposed to look like yeah, and when we give it away to, we have this young couple that work for us and you know they're starting out their life. Yeah. Speaker 1: And she said you're giving away your couch. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: I was like yeah, you want it. And she said yeah, you know, without hesitation. Speaker 2: Well, I can remember too, when my kids were growing up. There was a time where I emptied the entire living room just so we could play kickball in the living room. Speaker 1: That's crazy. Speaker 2: And getting okay with the living room not having to have any furniture in it, just because society teaches you that that's how the living room is supposed to be set up why not outside? Speaker 1: letting those um I don't know, just because just to be different, because I wanted to play with them and I didn't necessarily always want to be outside in the yard, and I don't know I don't know, it just kind of happened you have to worry about the ball getting kicked over the fence no, but you kind of did have to worry about the ball hitting the windows what'd you do? Hang pillows over. Speaker 2: It was a little bit of an issue. Um, I kind of just released that and said, okay, if it happens, it happens it is what it is. It is what it is and so we we did for a few months, until the, until that kind of wore off, we played kickball every weekend and all the kids come to the house and we had a kickball game in our living room. Speaker 1: Yeah, that's insane. Must have been a very big living room I mean, it was fairly big yeah for sure you know, because in texas the whole open concept oh, everything's big. I mean, you know there's truth behind that statement. Everything's bigger in Texas. Like you go buy a $500,000 house in Florida, you're getting 1400 square feet. You buy a $500,000 house in Texas, you're getting 4,000 square feet. Speaker 2: Right and in Texas you're like if they were to hand you a 1,400 square foot house you would laugh and say what Uh-uh. This is not enough room. Yeah, it's crazy, this is the size of my closet literally. Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. It's pretty crazy. Speaker 2: That was a place of adaption that I needed to make, because I'm used to like 3,000 or 4,000 square feet. Speaker 1: Yeah, and high roofs, and you know like everything in Florida is flat roof pretty much. Speaker 2: Flat and kind of boxed in. Speaker 1: Yeah, boxed in because of the hurricane. Speaker 2: Definitely had to adapt. Speaker 1: But anyway. So when our friend started making comments about us giving away our furniture, it made me stop and look at. Why did they think that way? Because it did bother me one bit. I was like I don't care, it can go, it didn't bother me at all. Speaker 2: Right, well, I mean for me for sure. As a doctor of paranthropology, I'm always curious as to why humans behave and act the way that they do, and I found it very, very curious. Speaker 1: And so I asked one of them why does it bother you that I'm giving away my couch and my recliner? And he said well, what are you going to sit on? Oh my God, you're not going to have nothing in your living room . And my response was there's stores. You can buy things at stores. And he said but why would you? It's two years old, I mean, it's got a couple of cat scratches on it, but who cares? It's very comfortable. Well, you didn't take it Right, but anyway. So what it made me stop and look at was why was he thinking that way? And you know, when we brought up him learning a musical instrument to him, he was like he. The fear just came, overcame him and he made the comment the reason why jenny bought that air piano is because he was here that night and watched the guy playing the thing. And he sent a text to us that said oh, I'll join your jam session if you buy this. Jenny ordered it. And now, when I told him that you ordered it, he was like Don't challenge me to a jousting duo. Speaker 2: I will sharpen up my joust. Speaker 1: It was pretty funny, but so it made me why. Why do people get that way? So, first of all, I thought this is my thought and you can. You're the doctor in this. So the fear that society teaches you that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, or what would other people think? What do other people think? And people weigh so much of their reality on that statement of what people think, weigh so much of their reality on that statement of what people think, that they stop themselves from being open to new adventures or doing things outside that box. You know when we were kids? Or say you know when we were in high school, that's one of the things they taught. Oh, an employer wants you to think outside the box. Speaker 2: They don't really. But, they don't really. If you do far outside that box, they whip you back in the box. Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly right, but in a human society, so we have translated that into only our employers want us to think outside the box In our own life. People panic when they change, and why. Speaker 2: Well, I think it's a very convoluted question and I think there's many strings of thread that are entangled in that. I think, first of all, society teaches constant. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: A certain state of constant creates success. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Just to kind of put it in a small sentence. And so people have taken that and they've intertwined it into their personal life. And I think the other component to that is most people are in a mindset of a to-do list. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Let me check off my to-do list and get it done, and then I can relax and kick back and retire. Speaker 1: And once they get it checked off, they don't ever go back to it. That's right, yeah. Speaker 2: And I think that trickles over into because you have to remember, if you've got a belief system and you've got habits and patterns going and definitions in place, it can trickle over into many aspects of your life and so it can limit you on changing and trying something new. Okay, so I'm going to get the perfect job and I'm going to stay in it until it's time to retire so I can get my pension. I'm gonna set my house up and I'm never gonna change it. Check off that check. Speaker 1: I mean our parents never bought new furniture yeah I mean, I remember having the same old brown flowery couch. Speaker 2: Yeah, all of my life yeah, I feel like we've talked about this before, but yeah for sure. And then I think it's just. It's kind of like everything else If you have convinced yourself that you can't do something, then by nature of the mechanism of belief you can't do something, whatever that is, and you'll come up with any kind of justification to surround that, to make that belief true. Whether it be age, my fingers won't bend in that shape anymore . Speaker 1: The C-cord. Speaker 2: I'm an old dog who can't learn anything new because my brain is tired and on vacation, retirement, or my memory is crap. Or or even if you're living in that state of them, esteem um, by always worrying about what somebody else thinks. And what would they think if I took away all my furniture? What would they think if, at my 50s, I am going to play a new instrument? So if you're living your life in that manner, then yeah, that's going to stop you from doing a lot of things, because if you've got a story that says society's not going to accept me into the tribe if I don't look a certain way, then that will limit what you go out and you try. Speaker 1: Yeah, you said it right, the themis team. The themis team is, it's a virus, you know it spreads. It's not something that we should ever do, because it stops in the big picture theme, in the big picture of this entire humanity that we're here to get experiences in. It stops the flow of evolution, it stops the flow of experience . And because the big picture is, if we never changed, we would still be having red and white checkered tablecloths in our house and our husbands would work from 9 am to 5 pm, be home at 6 o'clock for dinner on the table, the wife stays home and raises the kids, and we'd all have little suburban homes. We would still be driving old vehicles with our electric yeah, don't forget the blue duck theory. The blue duck theory. Speaker 2: Yeah, what the kitchen was done in blue ducks with little blue bow ties. Oh yeah, ducks or goose, or goose, yeah I remember. Or chickens In the kitchen. Speaker 1: The chickens, oh my God, the chickens were crazy. My mom collected them. Speaker 2: stinking ceramic roosters, it's like everybody had the home interior, gold in the living room and the blue duck or blue goose. And the goose was white, mind you. It just had clothes on that were blue. Speaker 1: It had a yellow bow tie Right. There's people that I know now that still has that in there, yeah, but anyway. So if you stop and you live off them, esteem and don't go with the next thing that feels good, then you are in the big picture thing, slowing down evolution of mankind and the experiences that we share with the Akashic Records. Speaker 2: Yeah, on a certain level of thinking. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Once you go ahead and graduate to the next level of thinking, you're not really slowing down the evolution of mankind, because there's parallel realities, but you definitely are inhibiting yourself from jumping from one reality to the next. So if you're looking at your own reality, that you've created , that you've created, if you're not having the advancement at all or as quickly as you want it , more than likely it's because you've limited yourself on what you're willing to allow that to look like, because of the uncomfortableness and maybe even something deeper, deeper like the fear of change and moving past all of that, getting okay with being temporarily uncomfortable. Speaker 1: That's a big big thing. For most people it is Totally. Speaker 2: It's a rut If you can't jump the hurdle of temporary uncomfortableness. That will stop a lot of people from trying anything, be it a new job, be it a new fun experience Like we just get caught up in. Even something simple like going to work a different way, Some people can't even get there . Speaker 1: Like drive a different direction. Speaker 2: Yeah, Like when you leave your house, you go the same road, the same path, day in , day out, and so just getting yourself to a point of saying you know what? Okay, I'm going to mix it up, man. Speaker 1: I'm going to take highways off of my navigation. Speaker 2: Like that pizza commercial. Baddies All Day where the grandmas are singing. Baddies all day. I'm going to be a baddie and I'm going to drive a different direction to work. And look, nothing happened to me, so tomorrow I'm going to drive you in a different direction. Speaker 1: Look at me, go, and I think that's what it's about. I totally agree with you. The commitment to allowing yourself to change catches people off guard. Commitment to allowing yourself to change catches people off guard. Speaker 2: It even happens with, like the clothes that I put on, for example. I am extremely eccentric with my clothing. I mean, life to me is like a big theater play and I dress up and people are like, oh my God, that is so cute and so way out there. Speaker 1: I just wished I had the balls to do it. Speaker 2: I wish I could do that. Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, right, put them on, take them off. Speaker 2: Put them on, take them off, wash them, do it again , right. Speaker 1: You know the I asked one time because you know football officiated for a good number of years and when I was doing a state finals game actually when I first started football officiating I had met this head coach at Arlington High School in Arlington, texas. He had just moved down from New Jersey after watching the movie Friday Night Lights and he went and told his wife hey, we're moving to Texas, I'm going to become a football coach. Speaker 2: Oh my God, that went over well. Speaker 1: She went into a panic mood because he was a an attorney and she went into straight panic mode because she was his paralegal in their own office. He owned his own office and he said he said the look on her face. When I told her that I was going to go be a a high school football coach, she, she, went into complete mental breakdown. Speaker 2: Existential crisis. Speaker 1: He said two weeks later I shut down the office, I closed out all my caseload, I sold my cases to one of my friend attorneys and we loaded a U-Haul and we drove to Texas. I had no job. I had nothing. Speaker 2: Did they stay married ? Speaker 1: Yeah, wow. Speaker 2: Because that kind of thing right there, depending on where your partner's at, can sometimes cause a complete and total, just crumbling of the empire. Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Speaker 2: Some people just are not there and they will flip their lid over. Speaker 1: I don't know how I would react to that. I mean, it may be fun, but it would be very uncomfortable for a minute. Speaker 2: I don't know how you would react to that. It would cause crisis. I've already kind of tiptoed around that. You remember when I said okay, let's quit and go live in a tent on the beach. Yeah, don't do tents on the beach. You kind of flipped your lid a little bit. Speaker 1: I did a little bit. But going back to the story he said, I said to him because we were in the pregame. Speaker 2: You see, guys, how he diverted real quickly right back, because he still is not comfortable. Speaker 1: The coach. I looked him in the face. I said so what does your wife do? He said very reluctantly, she came and she kept flying back and forth to help. You know, she would fly back and forth and he said we rented this little one-bedroom apartment until I found a job. And then he got hired as an assistant assistant assistant, way deep coach at some little small town coach. And then he learned and I said well, what do you attribute to your success? Because now he was at this time he was in his fifth year as head coach and only in his ninth year of coaching. And so he went from a 1A small school assistant receivers coach or something to four years later getting a head coach job at Arlington High School. I said what do you attribute to that? And he said I just did the right thing, because I think outside the box. I am not a cookie cutter. Speaker 2: And so, just to elaborate, he did the right thing for him. Speaker 1: He did the right thing for what he felt was his future. Speaker 2: Within the construct of what his beliefs, patterns, definitions would allow him to do, while listening to the guidance of higher self. Even if he didn't realize that's what he was doing. Speaker 1: He said when he went home from that movie that night. He said he had this little area in his house. He said he had a big home. I mean he obviously didn't come move to Texas broke. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: But he said I sat in my I call it my scotch bar and I drank a little bit of scotch. And I drank a little bit of scotch and I sat down and wrote down the pros and cons of moving and doing this because I really wanted to be that guy on the movie. I want to be that guy. And he said the cons on his list were almost four times as long as the pros. But when he went to bed that night he dreamed of what he was going to be in that moment. That day, that when he walked on the football field at the state championship game, yeah and I knew then that I was going to do the right thing. Yeah, is the money going to be less? Yes but the fulfillment behind it is better. It was his next happy place and that's exactly what he said to me. That was going to be my next happy place yeah and I said so what do you? how did you take a school that literally the previous seven years before you had had maximum of three wins in a season? How do you change that to where you go undefeated the entire season and you are dominating it ? And he said I teach my kids, they are all different, there's nobody the same. Don't be scared to go outside where you're comfortable. And so he said like I had an inside linebacker. That was just a beast in practice. But when it came to game time he was so scared of getting hit by the other team he would avoid conflict on the field. And so he said he made him the quarterback. And he said they would have. He went into straight panic mode. He said OK, go learn the playbook, you're going to be quarterback next week. And come to find out. This kid was really good, so good at avoiding conflict that he had. He set numerous Texas records for rushing yards in a single season by six, eight quarterback in the position of the quarterback in the position of the quarterback. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And so he didn't want to get hit. I mean and that's a good example of playing on what would be perceived as a weakness turning that around right and making that actually a strength and that's what he said that single move taught the entire team to get out of the box, to get out the box and don't be scared, because he didn't want to be hit on the field by another player, but he was a beast in practice, and so he didn't want to be hit on the field by another player, but he was a beast in practice, and so when he was going to get hit as a quarterback and he knew it was coming he would just chug right over people. Speaker 2: Right. So it's a good example of finding Okay. So two good examples pop up here and I want to talk through them. When he sat down to write his pros and cons list, that's what I teach you guys as far as journaling. Whenever you're making what you view or define as a life changing decision of oh my God, what in the hell am I thinking? What is my family going to think? Oh my God, sit down, write the worst case scenario down and whenever you can mentally, in your thinking mind, come up with the worst case scenario and you have a plan for it, then it becomes not an oh my God, it becomes a okay. You know what? I can survive that. It's doable I can do that and you just kind of go down the list and you've got it in writing, tangible, where you've actually analyzed your pros and cons, you've actually analyzed worst case scenario, you've put in place that monkey mind story yeah and then you've answered it with the solutions of the worst case scenario, and so then they don't seem so big, they don't seem so uncomfortable. Speaker 1: I said when I asked him the question. I said so, I mean, I know coaches teach classes, so are you like teaching law or something at Arlington? Now he said, nope, I'm teaching health. I was like what he said? Yeah, I know it's crazy. He said when I got the job at arlington, I told them I will teach health, but because that's that was the position head coach, and he had to teach three classes a week by state law. Yeah, and he said he would teach health three days a week. And so he went home and crammed basically health into his mind. Speaker 2: Well, you know, you have to remember, as a lawyer, there's a lot of cramming and a lot of memorization, and so he that was an old hat to him. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: So going in there and taking a small little high school book and cramming that in his head was probably the easiest part of that whole job Probably school book and cramming that in his head was probably the easiest part of that whole job. I can relate as a nurse because you know when you go to nursing school it is it's just cramming stuff in as fast and furious as you can go. And so now when I want to learn something, the thought of cramming something in as fast and furious as I can go is is really the easiest part of the task. It's getting over the mental hump of okay, convincing myself that I can do this. Speaker 1: That's what he said. He said about three or four chapters into cramming the health textbook into my mind, I realized this is high school level. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: And so he was like it was really easy and simple, he just went through the plan. But he said also that another part of it that was really hard to overcome was Arlington high school has a huge booster club from former graduates. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 1: And when the school board hired him, with zero six a experience, he'd come from a one a school. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And then given the head coach job because he took by the way, he took that one a school and won three state championships, seven or seven men football. And they hired him. The booster club president and vice president came to his office and said what are you going to do? You don't have the experience to do handle a-kid roster and the playbook. And he said I picked up the playbook in front of the president and I threw it in the trash. He said we're changing everything here. Everything's changing because the same monotonous playbook everybody knows it. Speaker 2: And it's not working. Speaker 1: And it's not working. Obviously, he said so what do I have to lose and what do you have to lose? Speaker 2: Good point. Speaker 1: And he said the Booster Club president said, well, I'll give you one season. He said, well, fortunately I don't work for you. And he said the Booster Club contributions went to a third and it was like crazy. So it cut down the money to the football team, to all the athletics. Speaker 2: Oh, so he had to do it on a budget. Speaker 1: Yeah, he said he went and bought all new football pads for the kids out of his own pocket. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: He bought the entire team football equipment and then after they went 11-4 for the season, suddenly the Booster Club paid him back. Oh, oh see what happens. But he said, then it just grew. They had winning seasons, they got one round, playoff, two rounds, but anyway the whole, the overall story was, he said he finished up this conversation with me pregame, which we're supposed to be talking about football rules. We were, I was just more inquisitive about you know his growth. He said the the trick to everything in life is realizing that you can do anything you want. Speaker 2: That's right and not being scared of it. That's what I said in the last podcast. Whoever said that? Napoleon or I don't even remember who said whether you can or whether you can't. Speaker 1: It's true. Speaker 2: Yeah, and that is true. Yeah, it is, if you convince yourself that you can't, then you won't Right. If you convince yourself that you can't, then you won't Right. Speaker 1: If you can convince yourself that you can, then you will. Yes, I agree. You know the key to all of this and what I think my biggest takeaway in us changing our reality and going to learn music is after about two days hey, I'm doing pretty freaking good. Speaker 2: Yeah. And believing in myself, and so my confidence is getting better , so did you have to go through some of that. Speaker 1: I did mental, I did mind work especially when it comes to the C cord. Oh my God that it still is a nemesis right now, because I get it. But I'm just, I'm sharing with them. I'm sharing with them because the C cord it, but I'm just, I'm sharing with them. I'm sharing with them because the c chord, for some reason, my hand doesn't want to. It's a battle one that doesn't want to move into the c position . Instead it wants to go to the g position and then try to make the c key and the c chord and and so it's. It's a constant battle, but other than that I'm doing pretty good. Speaker 2: But so let me ask you this if you're naturally trying to go somewhere with it, get out of the box and let it. Maybe there's something to that . Speaker 1: Maybe, yeah, explore that. Yeah, it's good. So going to the. Speaker 2: So can I talk about the second point that was good in that. Yeah, the first point was him writing his pros and cons down. Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, I'm sorry I interrupted. Speaker 2: We talk about journaling and I teach you that writing it down and really coming up with worst case scenario is how to conquer that monkey mind that keeps saying, oh, you can't do that. You crazy kid what. You thinking Right, and that's evidence of, and a good example of, how to go about that, and why? Because if you can conquer that beast and get it in writing so that you can look at it and go back and revisit it especially if your pros list is much shorter than your cons and there's many items on there that are, you know, taking you in a direction of no movement, no action then you'll be able to go back and look at those things, one at a time, one at a time, and find out why. Speaker 1: What is? Speaker 2: the fear. What is the component that's keeping you from doing that Very , very good exercise? Because trying to mentally remember that, especially when you're new to diving around in beliefs and definitions, doing it just on a mental platform, it's easy to kind of forget. It's easy to get consumed by the human world. So writing it down so that you can go revisit it and work on it is a very, very good Practice revisit it and work on it is a very, very good second step after coming to the place of having that twinkle in your head gut intuition of gosh. I really would like to do that. Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, he said that he did the what if list too. Speaker 2: The second part is getting to a place where it doesn't have to look exactly like you think it has to look yeah, and so let me expound upon that real quickly okay whenever you have a daydream, so to speak, or a desire or a dream that you want to conquer, and it is or experience and it seems so much bigger than where you currently can allow yourself to go, allowing yourself to daydream, but don't get caught up in the. It has to look this way that I have described it humanly, because if it't, then I've failed or I'm not successful. And then go back into your little hermit crab shell and give up. Let it look and unfold the way that it is, I guess, supposed to is the best way to put it. Let it unfold, naturally, that's probably better and allow it to look a little bit differently, just like with you and the C chord. That's another good example If you're trying to force your body to make the C in this textbook way and your body's trying to show you perhaps, maybe, a different way go with it tango with that tingle tango with that tingle. Another genieism like explore it and see if there's something to it is your higher self trying to show you something different, because sometimes, by embracing that difference, it will give you that epiphanal click in um boing in your head and everything suddenly swishes in and it all makes sense and you have this profound understanding of the concept and then you're off to the races. Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah it, you know it's. It's a really a big Testament for me to be able to open your mind and say you know what? I'm over 50. I'm going to learn a musical instrument. I'm over 50. I'm going to learn to dive. I'm over 50. I'm you know, just go on and on and on. You know, just go on and on and on. And yeah, it's the reason why I feel like that, that people hang up in that is because their lack of confidence within their own self. And when they're, when you're following a spiritual world, you don't have to have confidence in yourself. You have to have confidence in the movement, have confidence in your higher self. Speaker 2: Yeah, I think trust in your higher self is probably a very, very large portion of that. I agree, trusting that the higher self always has your back . Speaker 1: Always. Speaker 2: And always meets your needs, always. I agree, Even if it's financial , even if you don't have the money in the bank, taking that next little baby step and that next baby step and you wake up one day and you're like damn I'm doing it. I'm doing it and I don't even know where the money came from. I don't even know. I don't even know. How did this even happen? Speaker 1: I mean for me last night that it kind of clicked with me that I don't know how it happened, but it did like I picked up that bass guitar literally twice or three times and I'm already. I already created my own riff last night right and so I was like oh, wow, okay that actually sounds kind of good it does. Speaker 2: I was just playing around too. Speaker 1: I was just kind of, and it's made it yeah and it was really. It was a cool experience for me . Last night I went to bed thinking, you know, I'm doing it . I'm an old dog learning new tricks. Speaker 2: That's right. Speaker 1: And so it was very self-fulfilling. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: And really gave me the ability to think outside the box, like the challenge that I gave you this morning. What? Was that you learned to play Enter Sandman on the electric cello and I'll learn it on the bass and the electric, so we can jam together. Yeah, on the bass and the electric, so we can jam together . Yeah, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do do, do, do, do , do, do do, and there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, but for everybody out there. Speaker 2: Don't forget to just get out of the box man, yeah, be somebody different today. Even if you've got to take baby steps, because it's all about finding that next place of joy and excitement. That's the vibrational frequency that everybody's looking for. Your next happy place that's. You know, everybody says what's my life purpose? What's my life purpose? What's my life purpose? Your life purpose is finding that frequency that we call in verbology, that next happy place , the next moment of excitement, the next thing that brings that little bit of joy, as small as you know what. I'm going to give myself a break and I'm going to go watch my favorite TV show, because that's what brings me joy right now. Or, if you're, at a place where you're like go big or go home. You get rid of all your furniture in the living room and you buy a bunch of music equipment and you turn it into a music museum and so just allowing yourself, at whatever level that you're at, to tiptoe out of that box or come out of that box running. Just do something. Right is the way to success and end up feeling unfulfilled or empty or like your life is just a repetitive, robotic thing. If you're tired of it, then start playing with it a little bit, and there's going to be people out there that are at different levels. Some can take just tiny steps, some can take a little bit bigger steps, some, like us, just go balls to the wall. Speaker 1: Our friend said I know you guys, cause Jenny was telling him what we're going to do. He said yeah, I know Y'all never go half ass at anything, right. Speaker 2: Like we. Once we decide we're doing something, we're all in. Speaker 1: We're all in yeah, I mean, it don't matter how cold the water is. Speaker 2: It don't matter how deep it is we just jump. We just take our clothes off and we chunky dunk right into the hole of it and whatever uncomfortableness it brings up. But we've gotten to that place and you, you know, we didn't just start this two days ago, two weeks ago, whatever Right We've been, this has been our daily practice for years and so we've been living our life. Some people are just in the beginning steps Right, and you take it at the pace. Yeah, and don't judge the pace Right, if you're only at a, you know, we'll put it on a scale 10 being. You know, go all in. If you're only at a one, embrace the fact that you're just at a one, and I say just If you're at a one. Speaker 1: That's progress. Speaker 2: Then be at a one and take baby steps, whatever that looks like and I said it early in the podcast if all you can do is come to an awareness that you want your reality to change and the only outside the box thing that you can do is take a new path to work today, do that right wear different shoes, something. I was there and I was a very methodical. You could read a book by a cover, and so I would do the same path to work. I would do the same routine. My desk was always very, very much um organized and everything had a place, and it would bug me and I would get angry if things were. And so what I started doing was taking a different path to work when I was driving. I don't drive to the work anymore, I don't have to. Speaker 1: Yeah, you can take a different path, you can go out the patio door and walk around in the front door if you'd like I do sometimes when things feel too monotonous, yeah. Speaker 2: And then I've just progress, step at a time, all the way to the point where now I go to work and I purposely will drag out a whole bunch of tasks , I'll mess up my desk and I'll just let it sit like that. Speaker 1: Yeah, you did that Thursday. Speaker 2: And I drive some of the people in the office kind of crazy. I'm like listen. Speaker 1: This is my office. I don't care what you think. Speaker 2: There's a method to my madness, and then at the end of the day I'll pick it all up and organize it and go home. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: But just checking myself to make sure that I'm not slipping back into that mindset , right, because I always want to just go outside the box. Speaker 1: You know it reminds me of the server that we get, the restaurant that we go to all the time. When she started listening to our podcast and she said oh my God, I listen to your podcast. And she said well she's. When we told her about the podcast, she originally said I don't want to listen to podcasts because they're boring. And then, when we came, in the next time. She said oh my God, I listen to your podcast. It was so good. Y'all's voices are just so peaceful. And she said I enjoyed the part about believing that you can be somebody different. Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's. I mean that is you are. Speaker 1: Because you know she the previous time she had shared hey, I come to work, you know, basically. Speaker 2: I just work, just robot going through the motions. Speaker 1: And I hope she hears this podcast and realizes that you can do and be and we know, we know Everybody listen If you're tired of your monotonous life, the repetitiveness. Speaker 2: Can be, do and have anything, anything, anything, anything in a kind, caring, loving way. Speaker 1: You can be anything you want to be if you believe it . You can go anywhere you want to go if you believe it. You can execute anything you need to learn if you believe it right. And so if you any of those things don't resonate with you, like you don't believe that you can, you can be anybody, anything you want to be, then stop and say to yourself why do I think that make the what if list make the pros and cons lift list. Cause that that high school coach said to me I made the what if list, I went down my cons list and what if I go? What? What changes this? What if I go? Because he said I had a huge caseload. He was a business attorney and he was. He had like 800 cases on his load and he and he said, okay, so this is you know if, what if this, what if that? And he went down the entire list and none of those things he was like yeah, I'm not going to change my mind. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: I'm not going to change my mind. Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not gonna change my mind right, that's, you know, because he was, he was checking in, he made his list, checking in with his emotional guidance system he played santa claus and checking each topic on that list and okay if I create the worst case story, does it make it feel different? Speaker 1: Right. Speaker 2: And then, secondary to that, what would be a possible solution, or a possible couple of solutions, if this worst case scenario happened kind of takes away the power of that monkey mind story that you may be creating. That is just a lie. Yeah, that's where you come up with the solution to the worst case possible scenarios and you have plans in place, then it makes it. It helps to make it a. So what? Yep, because I'm prepared, because I'm ready for it, and that's a way to it's. That's a loophole, so to speak, around that monkey mind story of oh you know cause you're going to justify it. However, your beliefs and definitions are set up because that's how they're designed. They're designed to always keep themselves true. That's correct. And so if your little monkey mind is telling you, oh my God, don't do that, you're not going to be able to pay your bills, sit down and put that on the list. Speaker 1: Right. Speaker 2: Okay, if I don't have a job, how am I going to pay my bills? Am I willing to subcategory? Am I willing to deliver pizzas and let go of cable or whatever streaming or some sort of bills where I can like? There's answers and solutions to everything on that list and if you can find those resources and find those answers to plug in, then it becomes a so what. It almost becomes a situation where you mentally have experienced it and you found solutions to it. So then it's not a big deal, right, it's the. It takes away the unknown factor and the oh my God, what if this happens? I have no plan in place. It takes all that away, and so then it's like, okay, well, I have a plan for that, I have a plan for that, and so what's the big deal? Speaker 1: Disclaimer Jump off and do it. I have a disclaimer. What you're describing is how to manipulate the monkey mind when you get those negative thoughts. I want to make sure they understand that. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: Because your higher self wouldn't allow the thought to even happen if it wasn't a positive thing for you, or direct you in even making that list Right, and or direct you in even making that list right because your higher self is going to take care of you. We know this, you know, we know it, but not everybody does. Yeah, yeah, all you're doing is describing a way to control the monkey mind and get it out of the way so you can move forward with whatever your thoughts. Are your fleeting? Your fleeting thought was, or whatever that next adventure is? Speaker 2: yeah, yeah, because what will happen is is those thoughts and those beliefs they'll pop up, the ones that are keeping you from moving in the direction. Speaker 1: The ones that have always kept them from moving in that direction, that's right, they'll pop up. Speaker 2: And this is just a way to be aware of them and some steps on how to address them one by one, so that they fade off into nothingness. Yep. Speaker 1: Who cares what your friends think? Speaker 2: It's like a, so what Right? Speaker 1: If they're truly your friends, they'll support you. Speaker 2: That's another thing that needs to be said. That's some more of that them-esteem. Speaker 1: Yep, that is them-esteem. Well, I feel good. How do you feel? Speaker 2: I always feel good of them. Speaker 1: Esteem Well, I feel good how do you feel, I always feel good, you do feel good, let me feel you, you feel good. Thanks. Speaker 2: Thanks for my clean bill of health man. Yeah. Speaker 1: I know, right, energetic, all right. Well, I think that's a good place to leave this one Sure. Thank you all for listening, and don't forget to check out our social media at the Merck Centers T-H-E-M-E-R-C-C-E-N-T-E-R-S, and also that's our website. The same thing, wwwthemerchcentersorg, and if you want to make an appointment with either one of us or check out our services, they're on there. Speaker 2: Yeah, because sometimes it's helpful if you have. I just want to talk about this real quick. If you are having a little bit of a challenging spot, sometimes it's helpful if you can have someone help look at it with you , who comes from a place of non-judgment, and if you're in a relationship and you can't really go to that person, or your friends and family look at you like you have three eyes when you try to talk about the topic, because we've both been there. Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Speaker 2: It's just nice to have somebody else to kind of bounce things off of a different perspective. That's what we're offering. It's not like we're offering the magic pill person who can go down the rabbit hole and not judge or criticize, and help look at it from many different perspectives perspectives and angles, almost kind of like a 360 degree viewpoint and identify some of those beliefs that you're having trouble kind of digging up and finding. Speaker 1: That's the service that we provide. I agree In any modality energy beliefs. Speaker 2: Right and on any topic. Really yeah. Speaker 1: Like I had one client that I told her she was in one of my sessions at the last expo and she says to me okay, so I have this boyfriend. And she said and, and I I was like and all I did was say it's okay, it's okay, and she started crying yeah your, your mind is telling you the right thing to do. You don't have to say anything else right your intuition is spot on right and you should follow that feeling. And I said I know it's sexual, sexual in nature, the problem they were having. And she said oh my God, you're so right, my intuition's right. Speaker 2: Yeah, Because both of us have our particular way of of doing what we do. And sometimes you don't even have to talk If you come open and receptive to really wanting to look at whatever it is you're wanting to look at yes we have the ability to tap into, I think , what's what's called the akashic records, or find that frequency, and so sometimes we don't even have to conversate directly about the topic to be able to help you find those answers yeah, your energy tells a lot too. Yeah, and so I just wanted to kind of expound upon that, yeah that's good If there are any topics that anybody wants to discuss on air? Speaker 1: Send us a message. Then yeah, we'll definitely talk about them Send a message, hey, and on this one, put in the comments that fleeting thought that you've had lately of a new adventure. Speaker 2: Something that you've been thinking about doing. Speaker 1: Don't forget to like, follow and share. And you know what, if you're having a problem and there's an adventure you want to go on and your significant other is saying , or you not on, you know who's not on board with it, share, send them this podcast got a problem, yo I'll solve it check out the hook on my dj rip offset ice, ice, baby. Hey, don't forget to ring that bell y'all. You'll have you next time.