Stop Living In Their Story And Start Writing Yours

SPEAKER_04: Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to the Spiritual Grind. Good morning. You know, we've had the same welcome. We need I need to come up with a different welcoming. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: 200 episodes almost now, and here we are. I'm at the same opening line. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think we're like seven or eight episodes into season three. Probably should change it up a bit. We're kind of changing lots of stuff. SPEAKER_04: So we are actually putting everything in one spot so it everything goes to one thing. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: So it'll be nice to do. SPEAKER_00: We could change it to uh how D. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no. Won't be doing that. I am not Minnie Pearl. SPEAKER_00: Hi, y'all. How about that? SPEAKER_04: You know, there's probably some of these people don't even know who Minnie Pearl is. SPEAKER_00: Probably. Taking it way back. SPEAKER_04: Taking it, throwing it way back. SPEAKER_00: Most definitely. SPEAKER_04: Well, good morning, Dr. Gene. SPEAKER_00: He shoots and aims. He goes out for the long pass. SPEAKER_04: What? SPEAKER_00: I think I make like three different sports altogether. SPEAKER_04: That was like didn't make any sense whatsoever to anybody sports related. They just like totally turn the channel off. Yeah, they turned the channel off right there at that point. SPEAKER_00: I'm done. SPEAKER_04: Yep. SPEAKER_00: This is an idiot. You're right. I am. I am totally a sports idiot. unknown: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Do you can't even spell sports? I don't think you can spell sports. SPEAKER_00: Well, backwards it strops. SPEAKER_04: I got an email from a uh podcast optimizer. SPEAKER_00: Podcast optimizer. What exactly is that? SPEAKER_04: From Spotify. An email saying that we're not hitting enough of our SEO tags in our podcast because we rank three in our in our uh niche. But the reason why we're not growing up is because we're only using two of our actually searched keywords in our podcast. SPEAKER_00: What does that mean exactly? SPEAKER_04: Well, because they have like 500 SEO tags for our niche. SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh. SPEAKER_04: And we've only been hitting two of them. SPEAKER_00: So how do you hit more? SPEAKER_04: I don't know. I have she gave me the link to go download the thing. And so what I'm going to do is in the beginning of the podcast, I'm going to open just by reading the words. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: On the SEO. So that way it because they exp I I guess they expect you to script your podcasts, I guess. I don't know. But I'm going to print the list off. SPEAKER_00: And so the algorithm listens to the podcast, and then I guess. SPEAKER_04: Yes, because you know we upload the wording to the podcast. Are you have you been doing that? SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I do whenever I I I go in and I do the description and then I do tag words and I fill in all of that. Buscrout's very good about holding your hand through all of that, and you go in and you kind of like fill out the planks and stuff. SPEAKER_04: But what the email said is that we're only hitting two of the keywords. SPEAKER_00: I don't understand how we don't understand enough about it. So it looks like we're going back to school, ladies and gentlemen. SPEAKER_04: No, I'll just get the list and I'll read off 20 of them every time. And this in the beginning. Welcome to the spiritual grind. Then we hit it all and so we'll move on. SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm sure people don't want to hear that nonsense. SPEAKER_04: I know, I'm just playing. SPEAKER_00: Here's our morning list, guys. These are the words of the day. SPEAKER_04: Well, we can do it like the what was that uh cartoon? Anytime the word of the day was said, everybody went, ah do you remember that? SPEAKER_00: That was on blues clues, I think. SPEAKER_04: Blues clues. Yep, yep. The word of the day. SPEAKER_00: The word of the day. And then everybody yelled and put their hands in the air like. SPEAKER_04: We just got a letter. We just got a letter. SPEAKER_00: No, that's on blues clues, but it's a different case. SPEAKER_04: Wonder who it's from. But anyway. SPEAKER_00: That's a different part of the cartoon. SPEAKER_04: Are we sure that that was blue clues? SPEAKER_00: Yeah. The word of the day. Okay. I'm pretty sure it was blues clues. The we just got the a letter is definitely blues clues, but I think the word of the day was blue clue blue clues as well. I'm almost certain. SPEAKER_04: Anyway. So are you ready for the are you are you ready for the topic of the day? SPEAKER_00: I guess we shall clean it up. Clean up our act, man. SPEAKER_04: You know what my topic of the day is? SPEAKER_00: I do not do tell. SPEAKER_04: My topic of the day is personal goals. SPEAKER_00: Well, after the article I just wrote this morning, that sounds quite boring. SPEAKER_04: Well, that's because you wrote something for your blog. SPEAKER_00: No, I just wrote it because it was in my head. It was about infinity. SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah. Yeah, the the the numerical algebraic infinity article. unknown: Okay. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but you know me. I took it way down. SPEAKER_04: Yes, you did. SPEAKER_00: The rabbit hole. SPEAKER_04: Yes, you did. SPEAKER_00: Like it's a pack, three, four sandwiches in a sleeping bag. And the fine print on our marriage license says you're legally required to read it. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's what I I heard. SPEAKER_00: So I'll be printing that off. You can read it. SPEAKER_04: Yep. SPEAKER_00: Don't sound so excited, boo-boo. SPEAKER_04: I just play it. So I always read your articles. You don't know this, I go read your blog all the time. SPEAKER_00: How sweet. SPEAKER_04: I am a pretty sweet guy. If you don't believe me, just ask me and I'll tell you. SPEAKER_00: Lickable sweet. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's not gonna lick me. Not now. I haven't had a shower yet. SPEAKER_00: And your butt goblin is screaming. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. For sure. Famunda is loud. SPEAKER_00: I'm glad I'm over here in your life. SPEAKER_04: Anyway, that's not really my topic. I was just playing. SPEAKER_00: What do you mean? SPEAKER_04: What what do you think are you ready for my real topic? I was just playing with you because I was just wanting to see what you'd say to that. SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't even remember what you said, honestly. I was too busy farting around. SPEAKER_04: I know. You were farting around. You didn't pay no attention to my topic. SPEAKER_00: I didn't even remember what you said, honestly. SPEAKER_04: Well, the topic is really adherence. It was kind of the it's kind of a subcategory of that. SPEAKER_00: You can talk about the other topics. SPEAKER_04: No, this is the this is the topic, actually. This was the real topic. Um the other you know, as humans we have a tendency to try to adhere to people's expectations of our of us. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: And like in, you know, like for example, you're a a manager, you manage a bunch of people, and you are expected to adhere to what people think you're supposed to act like. SPEAKER_00: Under that title. SPEAKER_04: Under that title. SPEAKER_00: Or aka identity. SPEAKER_04: Identity. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. SPEAKER_00: Based on a job description. SPEAKER_04: And but but it's really not about jobs. It's really about adhering to what people believe that you are. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: And so, like, for example, when somebody thinks the world of you or whatever, they want to reach out to you and they want to tell you things like that, and then we have a certain I don't know, an inner belief that we're supposed to adhere to all of the what they what their reality that the story that they're creating in their mind of their reality of who you are or what we are. Like so we create the steps to adhere to what they think that we are. SPEAKER_00: Based on a story they created. SPEAKER_04: Based on the story that they created. SPEAKER_00: We being you and the mouse in your pocket, because I don't really think I do that. SPEAKER_04: Well, no, it's it's not a topic that I would say that you do. I do it. There's a because you don't adhere to nobody's stuff. But the but the I think the point of the podcast that I wanted to bring up is why do we do that? Because generally speaking, because they're not one percenters like you, uh 99% of people do that subconsciously and don't even realize they're doing it. SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah, yeah. I can see the pattern. SPEAKER_04: And so we will, like, for example, if if uh, you know, like my grandmother or my grandfather used to say I could sell ice to Eskimos in the winter. SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure. SPEAKER_04: I was a salesman. I've always been a salesman. Yeah. And I've kind of been that way. But I was thinking about this this morning while I was drinking my coffee because it popped up a lot on Instagram. You know, this is kind of a uh trending topic. Of Instagram. SPEAKER_00: Did your coffee turn to ice? SPEAKER_04: It did. It got real cold really fast, so I had to hold it by the heater. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: It was nine we were living Daytona Beach and the wind chill was nine degrees this morning in Daytona Beach. It was the slow the lowest recorded temperature in Daytona Beach in over a hundred years. SPEAKER_00: That's crazy. It felt that way too. SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah. It's it's still cold outside. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: It's still barely 38 degrees right now. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: In Daytona Beach, keyword beach. unknown: I know right. SPEAKER_04: It's not supposed to be cold here. SPEAKER_00: I know. SPEAKER_04: Daytona Beach is not adhering to their to what people think of it. SPEAKER_00: Right. They are not adhering to their publicly put out their programmed viewpoint. Right. And I am highly disappointed in it because the commercials are a big fat lie. SPEAKER_04: That's right. It's supposed to be a tropical climate here. SPEAKER_00: That's right. I got pre-programmed from the societal programming with the commercials that Florida is always this tropical climate, palm trees, sunny. SPEAKER_04: Liars. They're all liars. SPEAKER_00: I get here and the winters do exist. SPEAKER_04: I had to defrost our water hose this morning because it was froze solid. That's in Daytona Beach, Florida. SPEAKER_00: I know, right? SPEAKER_04: So stupid. SPEAKER_00: Stupid. SPEAKER_04: But anyway, so subconsciously, we as humans, we we try to live up to the expectations of others. You know, like my grandfather saying that to me. And, you know, my grandmother, you know, kind of went on the opposite spectrum of that with my grandpa. And she would always preach to me the book of James. You know, and the book of James was, you know, there's one phrase in there that that always stuck out of my mind because my name is James, and and the but she was talking about the book of James. And there's one scripture in the book of James that says the tongue is a world of iniquity full of poison. And the the the sermon behind that, you know, being the reverend that I am, uh huh, is about what the tongue can not only change in people's lives, but change in your own. And so it's about not controlling your tongue, you know, like I can sell to iced Eskimos in the middle of the winter. unknown: Uh-huh. SPEAKER_04: How what can it's almost like it's of the devil. And so I used to hold myself back because of what my grandmother said. And so I was trying to live up to her, to her ex because I guess she had this vision in her mind that I was going to go out and use my my tongue to I don't know, spread poison everywhere. I don't have no clue. And so, but I always had that in the back of my mind, so I held back. SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe she was just saying that with great gifts come great responsibility. SPEAKER_04: Well, and repeating that to you. I I agree with that. I found out later that's that's what she meant by that. SPEAKER_00: She could have done a better job of explaining it to you. 100% because I was a kid. Absolutely, because you were a child. SPEAKER_04: I was a child. I had no clue she was talking about you know, with great responsibility or with great power comes great responsibility. Not once did she ever actually say that to me. SPEAKER_00: Right. And that's a perfect example of how our guardians, our elders, try to teach us sometimes, but because our child mind is not evolved enough, mature enough to be able to really break down what's being taught to us, we uh unfortunately we misdefine it. We we see it as what it is, and then we file it in the wrong file folder, basically. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Well, that's what can create ruckus. SPEAKER_04: Well, we do that, period. Like we'll we we take everything as face value. And and when we don't look into it, and that's what we do when we adhere to other people's expectations, we take things as face value. And so that's what I was thinking about this morning when I was reading this and I thought I thought, you know, why do we do that as humans? Why do we try to live up to other people's expectations and create the vision that this that the other person's reality or thoughts of you are? No matter who it is. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: Because of the hum it's it it's such a trending topic right now that everybody's talking about it. SPEAKER_01: Really? And uh who's everybody? SPEAKER_04: Well, because of the battle of the politics, I think is what it is, you know, between the red and the blue and all that stuff, which I don't get involved in politics, I don't give a shit. But what I do care about is human the you know, like you and I, we both kind of study humans, that's what we do. SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right, right, right. SPEAKER_04: And we try to help things and make things better. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: But I remember thinking back when I first started uh doing sales and business and and I was, you know, closing deals with people and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, doing a a bunch of that. Is what was one thing that I always did during that be was I didn't adhere to what they expected me to be, which was what made me so successful in business. Like, for example, if they sit down with me and they expect me to be a salesman, I wasn't being a salesman, I was getting to know them. SPEAKER_01: That's right. SPEAKER_04: And so it it softens everything and makes everything, but I, just being who I am, would close deals because of that subject. Because I didn't I didn't come in here and adhere to what they thought I was. SPEAKER_00: Right. You didn't you didn't uh be the traditional salesperson, amenity dump or whatever. Yeah, whatever that is, or you got to know the person human to human and found what their uh you know needs list was and then found solutions to that and sold through that. SPEAKER_04: Right. And that's what you know, uh like I just got asked to uh apply for a speaking gig onto a sales community. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Um, from uh Salem Speakers Network. And one of the things they want me that they they're looking for is that person that can teach how that happens, because I actually wrote about it in my book a little bit. I didn't talk to talk about it a lot, but we will do that subconsciously. We will become what they think that we are instead of changing the energy and becoming what we are or allowing the flow to be who you are and be your be, you know, because you you get caught taught all these scripts as salesmen or even as humans, we get taught scripts. You know, we get taught scripts by parents, by grandparents, like my grandmother. You know, we get taught all this stuff, right? And we will try to adhere to it no matter what. SPEAKER_00: Right. And so because it feels so unnatural, that's where you get that weird, quirky salesman persona because people genuinely speaking are not being themselves, they're trying to follow some script that is uh it doesn't really fit their personality or their tonality or whatever, and they're trying to be this thing they were told they had to be. SPEAKER_05: Correct. SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't fit. It's like a pair of shoes that don't fit. You walk funny in them. SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, and we do that as humans with people as well. Like, like uh, like we have a very small booble. Booble? Boobo? We have a small booble. Does anybody have boobles today? SPEAKER_00: We have boobles. I love boobles, they're my favorite. They're my most thing in the whole wide world. SPEAKER_04: Does everybody have two boobles or one booble? SPEAKER_00: We have multiple boobles. SPEAKER_04: But you and I have a small bubble. We don't have a lot of friends that we hang out with all the time. We have friends and and we have acquaintances, right? And we have business acquaintances, but when it comes to like that intimate bubble, yeah, we we don't adhere to what people expect us to adhere to. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: And so we don't follow the normal, you know, uh the normal map of what people expect you to be. SPEAKER_00: Right, right. That normal character description. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. And so therefore, we have a small bubble. And it's not because of what they do, it's because of what we choose. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right. And and so gets you defined as an anomaly lots of times. SPEAKER_04: Yes, a lot. That is correct. 100%. But the the the part about it that you have to understand is I learned this in business and and in sales was I did and I was that successful in sales because I did not adhere to what those people expected me to be. Meaning the client, anybody customer even my boss, or your boss or whatever. I never adhered to their scripts. I never adhered to what they did, and the reason why I sold more than anybody in the in their company is because I didn't follow their scripts. SPEAKER_00: I can ad I can attest to that a hundred percent. SPEAKER_04: 100%, yeah. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Even in our previous job, they would fuss at you for not doing their stuff, but yet you were, you know, number one salesperson. SPEAKER_04: And I wasn't even a salesman. I was I was a property manager for them. That's true. And I sold more than their property leasers. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right. SPEAKER_04: And and tons more. I actually in 2023 I sold more as a manager than all the salesmen put together. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. And I did not adhere to what they believed in. I didn't, especially to the client. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: Never once did I ever adhere to what they expected me to be. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: And there is something to be said for that as humans and as in business. SPEAKER_00: Well, of course, yeah, because uh I'll take it back home to what I to what I study and what I know. Life is an energy. And whether you're awakened or aware or not, you can feel the vibe in a room when you walk in. And so even with your salesperson, when you walk in the door, you know whether they're being authentic and natural, or whether they're being a little bit fake or putting on a facade, you just may not know the back end story of why they are. If their boss is making them try on this new sell script and it's uncomfortable and awkward to them, like uh a new pair of shoes, then they're gonna try and fake it till they make it, but that holds an energy and you can pick up on that. And so they may not be meaning to purposely feel fake, right? But inadvertently they feel fake. SPEAKER_04: Right. And they don't and they're really doing their they're doing what their bot bought their boss or their job or their training is showing them to do, right? And that is just to be the salesman doing this script, doing the answering this thing. And but when they hit to the negatives, when they get to the people saying, I'm not doing this or I'm not buying that, yeah, they are completely lost because they have lost it from the get-go. SPEAKER_00: That's right. They aren't trained how to navigate that, and they don't use their own um way about life. Right, and they're not being somebody the reins to just be themselves and go in and be. Most people, nine times out of ten, will come up with some sort of script on how to relate to somebody, find out what they want, and then morph the product that they're trying to sell into. A perspective of how that fits their needs. SPEAKER_04: That's correct. And then and they all do that. SPEAKER_00: So they sometimes when people put a pre-programmed script in front of somebody, they actually hobble them or kick their legs out from underneath them, unfortunately. I think. SPEAKER_04: That's where businesses go wrong. Is they will give training to salesmen. And where they go wrong is they don't tell the salesman to make it their own. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: Do the do it it their own way. unknown: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Because a true salesman on the inside is going to adapt and overcome anyway. SPEAKER_00: And ad lib. SPEAKER_04: And ad lib. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And and you know, in my book I talk about the three whys. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. If you And that's not to be confused with wives, W I V. SPEAKER_04: No, it's Y, as in W H Y. SPEAKER_00: Although I could use a couple of more to help out around here. SPEAKER_04: But you know, in the I talk about the three Ys. And in the three Ys, and and I don't mean you ask three questions. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: I mean when they bring something up to you, say, for example, you say, Well, I just don't know about this part of something. And I'll be like, Well, what is it you don't like about it? And then you answer that question, and then I'm gonna I'm gonna take your answer and I'm gonna turn around in the same topic. I'm gonna ask you two more different questions. One is gonna be, Well, what part of this is not making you comfortable? SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh. SPEAKER_04: And but as I am not trying to sell anything. SPEAKER_02: Right. SPEAKER_04: I'm being curiously in assertive well, not assertively, that's not a good word, point poignant in the fact of asking three whys to that one subject that this person brings up. And let me tell you what that does. And that is it shows them that you care about them. Because you're not trying to sell them anything. And we if we were to jump into any friendship in real life, and this is how this applies in real life, if you were to jump into any friendship with somebody just because you had a certain expectation of how they acted, or and had you're trying to make them adhere to what you believe or see that they are, then you're going about this in the wrong way. Because when you're in life, this applies to the three whys apply to your life. Because if you were to ask three questions on one subject to one of your friends every single day, your friendship's gonna change exponentially because they're gonna think, oh, this person really cares about me. SPEAKER_00: Good grief of mighty. That sounds like a lot of damn work. SPEAKER_04: No, it's just it's just social networking, but you can do it very quick. It's not I mean, you've seen me do it in person. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm just kidding. SPEAKER_04: It's not something that's that's uh hard to overcome and do. Nah, you're right. But like like, for example, you know, we have a friend of ours that that uh was completely lost in life. You know, he had been through a divorce, he had been, you know, down this road of craziness, all his kids were gone, you know, and he was battling with his own internal securities. And when we met, when you met him, I know I've known him for years, and when you met him for the first time, right, he had a this different vision of you because he knows you were on RN, so he expected you to have that RN mentality. SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay. I see. Okay. SPEAKER_04: You didn't adhere to what he expected you to be. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not. SPEAKER_04: Which changed his whole perspective. He ended up instead of staying for the weekend, he upstayed nine days, you remember? Right because he wanted more of you, he wanted more Dr. Jenny in his life because you don't adhere to societal beliefs. SPEAKER_00: I don't adhere to much of anything unless I fully, fully uh have evaluated it and am willing to take it on. But I've always been that way. Right. I have always been that child. I was probably the brattiest child to try and raise because if it did not make sense to me, by God, come hell or high water, I was not doing it. Yeah, no matter what consequence I had to suffer, I was not doing it. SPEAKER_04: And that's one thing that he told me, by the way, at the end of this thing is what he learned was to quit living up to other people's expectations. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Live up to your own expectations. SPEAKER_00: Well, you're right. Decide what they are, and you don't have to decide them all right now. Right. Like you you don't have to sit down and have this uh big oh internal meeting with yourself um at any phase of any of this and say, okay, well, here's my long list, my Santa Claus list of what this all looks like. SPEAKER_04: This is what this all is supposed to look like. SPEAKER_00: You figure it out as you go along, right? One piece at a time. And so if somebody brings you a concept or something they believe in and they want you to look at it and they try to shovel it in, it's okay for you to take and evaluate that, see if it fits for you, right, and either embrace it, modify it, or file 13 that shit. SPEAKER_05: Right. SPEAKER_00: I just happened to do it along my entire life, probably even when I was in diapers, honestly. I think I did it in the womb because it according to the stories, I wasn't supposed to be born till like February 14th. SPEAKER_05: Right. SPEAKER_00: And I decided even in the womb, yeah, that doesn't really fit my calendar. So I'm gonna go ahead and be born on the sixth. And so, ready or not, here I fucking come. Right? SPEAKER_05: Right. SPEAKER_00: And so I've been doing it my entire existence. I am not living in the confines of something else unless I've evaluated it for myself. SPEAKER_04: Well, and see, and that's where people go wrong, is you know, like with this example that I just gave, you know, that's what he said was is I learned that I was trying to live up to what other people thought I was. And that's the same thing that we do every single day. Like, for example, men are not supposed to cry, they're supposed to be manly, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff, providers, you know, and the uh now with the the genders and everything going on, people are not adhering to what people what people think they are. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: And so that is what's causing all the crazy confusion. Who cares what people are? I don't really care. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: What I care is what kind of person you are. And the same thing that we all do. Like we like you're you're an R an RN. People expect you to act like an RN. SPEAKER_00: I'm a retired retired RN. SPEAKER_04: And you know, I've been a business owner and restaurant manager and owner for years. And people expect me to act like a restaurant owner. SPEAKER_00: Especially the ones that were around us when we were in that career. Right. You know it's hard for them to embrace new titles or new characters that we play. SPEAKER_04: Right, you know, because like for example, you have a boss at work. Because I just I'm just kind of feeding into this subject, and then we can talk back out of it. But we have a boss at work. The uh you didn't hear that, did you? SPEAKER_05: What? SPEAKER_00: I owe more freaking money to the dang jar, man. My phone just went off. WTF. SPEAKER_04: Well, then you should you should quiet it. Anyway, so well, that is probably my fault because I sent you a text to remind myself. SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm. SPEAKER_04: But the you have a boss at work. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: He's got a certain tie on, he's in his desk every single day, he does the same thing every single day. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: Not once in your day do you stop and say to yourself, I wonder what he does for fun. SPEAKER_01: Oh, I do. SPEAKER_04: Well, you you're not you're a one percenter, so your examples are off. We're talking about the general population. SPEAKER_01: Okay, gotcha. SPEAKER_04: And so they don't stop and say, Wow, what's this person? Who is this person? Yeah, he's a boss at work, but who is this person really? You know, because you expect them to adhere to what you feel like they should look like and act like. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: You know, that's just example after example after example. You have somebody drives into a car lot. SPEAKER_00: Especially like in that example, when you're told this person is boss or higher up, right? Everybody kind of gets that OMG ooh ah. Right. Don't speak to him. You might like disrupt the boss employee, right, uh, circuitry, and you're not allowed to talk to the boss. He's the hierarchy. Well, and that's where they anoint his feet for some ridiculous. SPEAKER_04: Well, even if it's a janitor, people do the same thing. They they create a vision in their mind of what this person looks like outside work. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: They will do that same thing. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: And then they exp they're they're surprised when they don't adhere to it. You know? SPEAKER_01: Exactly. Prime example, I can tell you. SPEAKER_04: One time I hired somebody to come in and do my nighttime cleaning. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: All he did is come in and do my cleaning in the restaurant. SPEAKER_01: Right, right. SPEAKER_04: Do you know what he did full time? No. He was an attorney. SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah. That's a very good example. SPEAKER_04: And and everybody because he was a an older uh I don't know what his what his n ethnicity was, but I think he was may have been uh uh what's Alec? Russian? SPEAKER_00: Oh, like Russian or something. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but he was actually an American attorney and had been for like 30 years. Okay. And he had started this cleaning company to do at night for his son, uh-huh, who after they started the company and had all these contracts, decided to uh go to law school. Oh and so, but he had contracts and he was gonna live up to his contracts. SPEAKER_03: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And he comes in one night, he's all dungy, got a back beat up old truck parked up up front, and he brings in his stuff, and and one of my uh front counter employees was like, Oh my god, this guy's dirty. I mean, what was like scared of this of this person because he came in dirty. Well, he'd probably been cleaning all night. Who knows what he looks like? SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Or you clean in your grungy clothes. The clothes were probably clean, they just were stained from cleaning. I mean, you don't come and work in your suit and tie for fuck's sake. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and he's a business, he's a business attorney, and I had used him. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And uh that's how we met his son, and that's how I hired his. You know, you understand? SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: And so I was I went up to my front counter employee. I'm like, what's wrong? She's like, This guy is oogie to me. I'm like, why is he oogie? Well, look at him. He's my cleaning guy. He comes in at night and cleans what you all don't clean. SPEAKER_00: Right. And what'd she say? SPEAKER_04: And she was like, So he's I mean, can he come after we leave? I said, Well, let me introduce you to him. This is my attorney. You know, I I introduced, and she was like, and she's going to law school. SPEAKER_02: Ah. SPEAKER_04: And and then she wanted to pick his brain about being an attorney. I'm like, you were just oogied out by this guy five minutes ago. SPEAKER_00: Right. Instant. SPEAKER_04: Because he's not living up to what you created in your mind of what he was. SPEAKER_00: Exactly. SPEAKER_04: And that's what we do as humans. We adhere. And when we'll do it and don't even realize we do it. He wasn't adhering. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: But when we do it in situations, we will adhere to what other people think of us. Right, right. SPEAKER_00: Now, my question now, sometimes the additional part of that is is that sometimes, even when we say, you know what, I've looked at this belief or this definition, I do want to adopt that in, and you adhere to that description of that character, but you don't realize until after the fact that it wasn't the most healthy description of that character. And I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about. I based on what I learned growing up, what a wife I thought should be. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't really have a very good example to follow or mimic. And so what I did is I did a mashup, a mush mush of what I saw my grandparents doing and what I learned on TV by watching like Leave It to Beaver June Cleaver. And I did like this mashup rendition of that. Well, unfortunately, it was not the healthiest uh job description to give to the wife persona, and it later uh became problematic. SPEAKER_04: Well, there's two parts of that, right? SPEAKER_00: So, but it's not because I was adhering to somebody else's stuff, it's because I was adhering to something that I created. So adherence can go in two different directions, and it can still sometimes uh make your reality wonky. SPEAKER_04: Well, and especially when you're looking up to somebody like that, and then you create a story of what they are, right? And they're they're not adhering to it, and it just makes your confusion even worse. SPEAKER_01: That's right. SPEAKER_04: And so, and that's that you're we are 100% talking about the social stigma of between people right now in business, in person, because this is where society goes all sorts of wrong. SPEAKER_00: And in all sorts of different directions. SPEAKER_04: Like this they see a president on TV giving a speech and they expect this president to be acting a certain way. Right. And then, or and if they're not acting that way, then they're not a good person. Or that you'll see a a salesman in a car locker. SPEAKER_00: So when they're creating a story that you think that they do act, right, right, and or we expect them to act a certain way, always be kind and wonderful and smiley when the camera's in their face, right? When they're having a day where they don't want a fucking camera in their face, and they just literally want to go with no makeup, right, their hair up in a freaking hat, and they don't want to get dressed, right, and don't want to have to make a public showing every time they run to the grocery store to get freaking milk. SPEAKER_04: Right. But you know, there's a story in the headlines right now. SPEAKER_00: They get tired of the paparazzi being in their face trying to catch them in their worst case scenario, and then uh what is that? SPEAKER_04: Then they get upset when what's that damn magazine? SPEAKER_00: DMZ or No Inquiring Minds takes and bastardizes the damn situation, then yeah, they get bastards. SPEAKER_04: You had to use my word, didn't you? SPEAKER_00: I did. I love it. I love that word. I was uh three days ago years old when you said bastardize, and I was like, oh my god, I love that word. I'm gonna use it. So I've been using it every opportunity since then. SPEAKER_04: But you know and here's the here's a headline that's in the in the topics right now. It's all over their internet right now. Okay, and Adam Sandler's daughter, Adam Sandler's daughter was in a Chanel store, downtown Hollywood. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: And she was in baggy clothes, not dressed up, had her hood up because she was just out dress uh shopping and didn't want to be bothered. Just like you're talking about. SPEAKER_00: Exactly. SPEAKER_04: The sales lady walks up to her and says, This is for serious buyers only. Please don't stop, don't touch anything. Not knowing who it was. You know, her dad is the wealthiest comedian on earth. SPEAKER_00: You know, her dad shows up like some Italian monster and shuts the store down, and then she gets to shop with no customers because he buys the whole store. That's totally what my human would want to do. I want to call my dad and say, Can you just buy this fucking store so I can buy this bitch? SPEAKER_04: No, so she texted her dad, uh, because her dad had just texted her and said, Hey, how's the shopping going? And are you getting bothered a lot? And she's like, No, I haven't been bothered all day. Matter of fact, I got kicked out of a Chanel store. And he was like, What? And she told him the story. SPEAKER_00: And what's he because she's wearing like uh frump frumpy clothes, basketball shorts, things that average, normal blue-collar people wear. SPEAKER_04: So Adam pulls up like 20 minutes later in his in his you know half a million dollar car wearing basketball at the Chanel store. Oh my god. And he walks in and uh he snaps his fingers because the manager knows him. SPEAKER_00: Oh, right on, ma'am. SPEAKER_04: And she comes over and she and he tells her the story, and then he commences to buy every purse in the store from the manager. SPEAKER_00: Because that's what his daughter was looking for? SPEAKER_04: No, just because what the salesman did to her. SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay. SPEAKER_04: And so he didn't he didn't buy it from the salesman. SPEAKER_00: Right. You know, that it was a twenty-cause it's a commission-based kind of thing or something. Correct. SPEAKER_04: It was a$28,000 purse. Uh and this the sales lady would have made, you know, three or four thousand dollars off the sale. SPEAKER_00: So he purposely went and bought it from the manager. SPEAKER_04: He went and bought everything in the store. SPEAKER_00: And not from this lady. SPEAKER_04: Yes, he went and bought everything in the store. Uh and I love it. And wrote wrote a check for it or whatever, paid for it or whatever, and it came to it was like$500 and something thousand dollars. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And then turned around and handed it all to his daughter and said, Go put this in the car. SPEAKER_00: Oh, his daughter was there with it. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, his daughter came back with him. And he put his arm around her when he walked in. And uh, so the story, you know, is don't judge a book by the cover. And she had a perception of what this person was. You see, this is this is the exact thing that I'm talking about. Yeah. This whole persona is so big that everybody is talking about it because when we we do create stories in her mind of who somebody is. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Or when you see somebody on the street, right? You know, like that guy in in California that is literally worth 700 million dollars. SPEAKER_00: I don't know about that. SPEAKER_04: Uh he owns a company uh in in I'm not gonna put it on here. SPEAKER_02: Right. SPEAKER_04: But he owns a large company. SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh. SPEAKER_04: And he had been out of town for almost two years. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: And when he came back, he had grown this long beard. And he was standing out front of his uh front of his building for his corporate offices. SPEAKER_00: And they thought he was like some homeless. SPEAKER_04: Yes. And so he sat down with a cardboard with a piece of cardboard and said, Can you spare any change on it? And sit down in front of his own corporate office. SPEAKER_00: Oh my god. So right on. SPEAKER_04: All of his executives were mean to him. SPEAKER_00: Oh my god. SPEAKER_04: They didn't they didn't recognize him. Oh and so then one of his janitors, or not janitors, it was uh uh like a bookkeeper lady in the back, like small town, way lower level. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Actually stopped by, gave him a dollar, and said, if you come by at lunch, I'll bring you lunch bag. Oh and so he got up, sweet, put his cardboard down, took her inside and promoted her to vice president over everybody else, and fired his entire executive team. SPEAKER_00: Oh, because he's a service-based company. SPEAKER_04: He's a large, very large service-based company. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely. SPEAKER_04: And so the moral of the story is is she didn't live up to anything. And that was what was a beautiful part of it. And that's what we as users. SPEAKER_00: The moral of the story is be careful of the hand you buy today, because it may be the hand that feeds you tomorrow. SPEAKER_04: Well, that's not the first that's not the saying, but be careful of that. SPEAKER_00: That's the ginnyism saying. SPEAKER_04: Be careful of the foot you stomp on today could it could be attached to the book boot that gets shoved up your ass tomorrow. SPEAKER_00: I thought mine was uh pretty cool. SPEAKER_04: No, there's all sorts of variations of that, but and so that's the you never know, man. That's the trending topic right now is adherence. You know, everybody's adhering to to what they expect them people to look like and they're and they they create stories immediately. And it kind of it's falling back on that don't judge a book by the cover thing. Right. Because you don't ever really know. That's right. And and so until you actually get to know people, you have no right to judge anybody. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: Um, and in my sales energy book, I I talk about that about that that energetic exchange when you do ask the three whys. Because the answer to those questions aren't really answers, they're energy that you're exchanging with that person. SPEAKER_01: That's right. SPEAKER_04: Because by the third one, they're be like, wow, this person's really you know, focused on this topic or whatever it is. And so it automatically will create of oh, this person actually cares about my answer to this or what it feels. It changes the whole energy to kind of top off the topic is is understand that anytime you are you meet anybody, three things are happening. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: One is you're creating a story in your mind of who they are. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_04: That they think you are. SPEAKER_00: Nicely put. This is very correct. SPEAKER_04: Yep. And then the third thing that happens is what is right and what is wrong. unknown: Okay. SPEAKER_04: It's the question of what I just identified them as and who they are. Is it right or wrong? Okay. And whatever they think I am, is it right or wrong? And so those are the three things that you everybody asks each other. Anytime you meet somebody, anytime you go in front of somebody, anytime you even with your own family. If you haven't seen them for a while or whatever, those three questions are always going to come up. And what because they're going to think in their mind, what do you think that I am? You know, you so you understand the the whole dynamic that's going on. And so what you do is cat yourself. Don't allow yourself to create the stories. SPEAKER_00: Or you can do what I do, and I just sit there and make up your own stories. No, I just sit there sometimes in awkward silence whenever they're asking those kinds of questions, especially if it's about me. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're you're that one percenter that I am like, maybe I'll answer you, maybe I won't. Let's just have a little awkward silence just to see what you do. SPEAKER_04: And so, you know, the the the crazy part about all of it is it's how we as as humans we do that. Even though we've all been taught not to judge a book by the cover. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: But the question is, is we don't ever look past the cover. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And those three questions make you look past the cover. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And that's why why I I to wrote about it in my book and how I actually live my way. That's how I I handled all of my business ever in my life. Sales, business, whatever. SPEAKER_00: It's also a good uh rule to live by in my book, scripted from within. Because if you're judging your own book by the cover people put on you, that's right. Then you won't have an authentic experience with yourself either. SPEAKER_04: That's correct. SPEAKER_00: That is you will begin to perform and do things that are not in alignment with your natural state of being because you try to honor what you think people think you should be. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: And then that changes who you are. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Completely when you're just will jack some shit up, and then when you decide it's all jacked up, you come to me and want me to untangle the shit. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. And here's the crazy part about all the when I was a hairstylist. SPEAKER_00: I did that too. When I was a hairstylist, yeah, you'd bring me a picture of this blonde, beautiful, like fit celebrity person. Celebrity person, and you've got short half an inch hair, and you want me to morph you into her. I'm like, no fucking way, it ain't happening. Can't do it. SPEAKER_04: You know what I did? How I'd how I changed my hair in school. I you do you remember what was that show, Family Ties with Cameron? What was his name? SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah. What was that? SPEAKER_04: Was that Family Ties? SPEAKER_00: It was Cameron Cameron. SPEAKER_04: Uh uh Mark um Kirk Cameron. SPEAKER_00: Kirk Cameron. You are right, yeah. SPEAKER_04: Everybody thought he was the sexiest man alive. SPEAKER_00: Everybody was sexy guys. SPEAKER_04: Everybody was so goo goo over him, and so I took went into my hairstylist and I took a picture outside. I went his haircut. And still to this day, I have the same haircut. I just cut it shorter. SPEAKER_00: You know who, and all the girls were goo goo ga over him. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: You know who I was goo ga over? SPEAKER_04: No, probably Einstein or something, no. SPEAKER_00: Hoss on Bonanza. SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh. SPEAKER_00: You know, the big dumb guy. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, the dumb big dummy. SPEAKER_00: I loved him because he was just so genuine and so down to earth. SPEAKER_04: I could see you being a hoss person. SPEAKER_00: I would have taken him and married him right up in a heartbeat. SPEAKER_04: You know, but the the moral of the story today is just look past the cover. SPEAKER_00: That's right. SPEAKER_04: Look past the cover. SPEAKER_00: Don't not of each other only, though. Look past the cover of yourself. SPEAKER_04: Yourself, that's correct. That's where I was going. Is anybody you're even to this day, you've been friends for years. Go look past the cover today. Because it may change your complete perspective about who people are around you. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. Well, I mean, going back even to like you told that story where we were up in California and we saw homeless people, and we just automatically assumed I did. I just automatically assumed broke and uncomfortable. And we go, you know, trying to hand out money, and the one was like, I'm not taking your money, I don't need your money. I have plenty of money. I live here by choice. SPEAKER_04: By choice. Yeah. That was a crazy day. And then we end up being like five or six in a row. SPEAKER_00: That were that same way. They were living in the city. SPEAKER_04: Matter of fact, we don't think we gave it like 20 bucks away. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's the crazy thing. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, uh so I quit doing it because uh, you know, when it comes to that kind of scenario, I'm like, for all we know, we offended far out of those people. SPEAKER_00: Uh right. SPEAKER_04: Well, he did act mad actually. SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah. SPEAKER_04: He did. SPEAKER_00: And I didn't ever want to offend anybody by assuming that anybody is not comfortable in their own place. SPEAKER_04: And that's the key to getting past the cover for everybody, even for yourself. Yeah. Ask the three whys. Ask the three whys. On every one subject, take one subject. Why do people think I'm not funny? And ask yourself the three questions why? And you say, Well, why am I not funny? Oh, I don't know. I just don't think that way. Well, why don't you think that way? Oh, you know, I guess I haven't ever trained myself to think that way. Well, what's holding you back from training yourself to thinking that way? You see how that works? Because it gets deeper and deeper and deeper. Now that was a little quick forte of it, because when you ask somebody a why to a question, they're gonna give you most of the time the second question, the second why is gonna be the longest answer. And the third one's gonna be maybe ten syllables because they're so enamored that you're actually asking uh three questions about the same subject. It changes the energy of the interaction. SPEAKER_01: I see. SPEAKER_04: And then after that, you need that's how sales happen, and that's how business happens, is you find a common ground. And so you will almost always, by nature, people do this. If they just allow the flow to happen, the energy to flow, by nature, they're gonna find a common ground and share something that puts them in common with that person. SPEAKER_00: Right. Some kind of life experience, some time of life experience. Some something. SPEAKER_04: That is the secret to my business success in sales. I did the same thing every single time with everybody, even though it it looked different to everybody. SPEAKER_00: Hey man, we both fart. You want to buy my apartment? SPEAKER_04: Yo, bro, I've got a house for sale. Do you do you drive a blue car? Because I have a blue car that's a rental today. No, but it it's then it's also actually uh uh also the secret to relationships, I think. SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah. SPEAKER_04: Is when you look past the cover and you actually take three whys, and people actually believe that you do care about what's going on. And generally speaking, if you are become a student of people's energy and their beliefs and their who they are, yeah, you will become the best successful business person in the world. SPEAKER_00: Or not just business person, but or the best husband or wife, best friend, best just all around, best individual to other human beings. SPEAKER_05: Yep. SPEAKER_00: Uh I mean that's absolutely the key to the magic is even in the business that I work in, I'm doing the sim very similar thing. I'm I'm getting them to dig deep into themselves and answer different inquisitive points of view questions to find out deeper about themselves to look past the cover. SPEAKER_04: Right. So very good. Nicely done. I feel complete. Do you feel complete? SPEAKER_00: I do. SPEAKER_04: Even though you didn't speak a lot today, it was all me. SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say, after you give me a hard time on the last podcast, I couldn't really get a word in. Anyways. SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, this is this was a topic today for me, so yeah, yeah. But anyway. SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, uh And so your book is called Sales Energy Method. Yeah, right, right. Um it is the And it's on It's on Amazon and Kindle. Yeah. SPEAKER_04: And uh I'm gonna probably put it on Audible as well. SPEAKER_00: Oh, nice, yeah. SPEAKER_04: Um, I'm gonna put all of our books on books on Audible. Yeah. Because uh that's the new thing going on right now. That's the new trend. New trend. SPEAKER_00: I see. SPEAKER_04: Forty almost 40% of book sales are on Audible now. SPEAKER_00: I could see that. I could see people wanting to just listen to it when they're doing at work or whatever. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, or some people are putting it now because I guess you can get it audible on your TV through Roku. SPEAKER_00: Oh, really? SPEAKER_04: And you can listen to it while you're cleaning the house or whatever. SPEAKER_00: Ah, nice. SPEAKER_04: But anyway, hey guys, the uh Merc Center is currently down. We're revamping it. So www.themerchcenters.org is down. So don't think that we closed out because we're the website's down. Um, but it should be up by you know middle next week, I'm sure. No longer. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're kind of revamping uh everything. SPEAKER_04: Everything. SPEAKER_00: Like even the spiritual grind picture, you're gonna change that out and everything. Give everything kind of a fresh new look, right? SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, I'm I'm putting everything in one hub because we have so many different orders going so many different directions that I I've got to I'm I've got to put it, I gotta organize it all. It's gotta be organized. Yeah. And so, yeah, that way I'll quit stubbing my toe on the coffee table. Because I'll be like, you'll say, Did you do that? SPEAKER_00: Don't right. SPEAKER_04: But anyway, and so Lucidiumworld.com, give you an app on a uh app update. Uh we are still just any day waiting waiting for beta. You know, uh, I don't really know. I'll have a full update on Monday. But if you want to check it out, go to www.lucidiumworld.com. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so give them a little tiny. I know we're probably pressed for time, but just a little tiny. The reason we keep saying, okay, we're seven days from beta, and then we it doesn't happen. Because they're right now they're going through the back end of things, working out all the different processes to make sure they catch any kind of glitches. SPEAKER_05: Right. SPEAKER_00: So that that's less glitches that the end users have to experience. SPEAKER_04: That's correct. SPEAKER_00: And before we go beta. And so they're running all of these tests. We get notifications all the time of how they're creating these tests people and this test products, and they're testing that. Well, the so and so every time they find like a tiny little glitch, the platforms change their rules January 1st. And I report it, then they gotta go in and they gotta fix that. SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and it takes a little bit so that and and uh all the platforms January 1st changed their some of their rules. And so we're having to go back and kind of refix some back end stuff. SPEAKER_01: Right, right. SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, like uh this you know, the one example is they they re have a requirement for an FAQ page. SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, yeah, right. SPEAKER_04: We didn't have an FAQ page, right? SPEAKER_01: Because it didn't require it. It didn't require it. SPEAKER_04: And so, but now it's a requirement, so I've got to create the FAQ page. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_04: But uh and then all the back end, like the credit card stuff is different. The we had uh all this new year kind of changed everything, so we're having to fix some stuff, but should be anytime. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean I mean we are so close, guys. Hang in there, don't give up. Yeah, we are so close, it will be well worth the wait. I promise. SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, it's gonna be so much fun, actually. SPEAKER_00: It is gonna be a lot of fun. SPEAKER_04: I'm excited for it. SPEAKER_00: An amazing experience. I have all kinds of stuff that I have planned for the next, I don't know, three, four, or five years. SPEAKER_04: She doesn't stop. I swear. It's a fungus. It grows constantly. SPEAKER_00: There's a fungus among us. SPEAKER_04: Anyway, guys. Hey guys, we appreciate y'all turning in and listening to us time and time again. And uh 46 countries and reaching out to us, and we appreciate it. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely. SPEAKER_04: Uh don't forget to like, follow, and share. SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to ring that bell. SPEAKER_04: Hey guys, y'all have an awesome day. SPEAKER_00: Love ya,