Being The Best You

SPEAKER_03: Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to the spiritual grind. SPEAKER_00: Good morning. SPEAKER_03: We are live from Daytona Beach. Well, on the coldest day of the year. SPEAKER_00: We're recording. SPEAKER_03: We're recorded live. I always thought that was funny when they broadcasted that. SPEAKER_00: Recorded live from Versus recorded dead? SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Or what? You remember that years ago when they would do that on the news? They would post something recorded live earlier. SPEAKER_00: No. SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean duh. Recorded is always earlier. And if you're not live, what are you? Why are you recording, then what are you? I always thought that was stupid. But anyway. Good morning, Sunshine. SPEAKER_00: Good morning. SPEAKER_03: How are you today? SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm I'm good. You're good. I'm waiting to see what uh unfolds for the day. SPEAKER_03: Oh, you're ready. Are you are you is that your cue? You want the topic? SPEAKER_00: Uh it could be. SPEAKER_03: Dum dum dum. I need to have one of those buttons. The topic. It needs to say, the topic of the day. SPEAKER_02: Okay. SPEAKER_03: That would be fun, wouldn't it? I should have one of those buttons. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: That would be fun. SPEAKER_01: Perhaps. SPEAKER_03: Maybe I need to program one of those. I might have to do that. So I have a question for you. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_03: Are you being the best you that you can be? SPEAKER_00: Is that a rhetorical question? Or do you really want the answer? SPEAKER_03: Well, no, it's it's actually where my mind is today, because you know, with what we're talking about and dealing with and in the shower, I'm thinking. Because you brought to my attention that I am a creature of habit and I am bullheaded sometimes. SPEAKER_00: And and uh Wow, don't make everybody think I'm such a hard-nosed Oh, who am I kidding? I am. SPEAKER_03: I don't know anybody that don't think that you're hard-nosed when it comes to spiritualism. SPEAKER_00: Whatever. SPEAKER_03: You're just direct. And that's okay. That's our relationship, and I love it. So that's what we do. And so I'm in the shower today after we have our conversation, and I'm thinking, how do I be the best be I can? I mean, how do I be the best me I can be? I have to be able to look at those things and take corrective criticism. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, it's beneficial when anybody can do that. Um, because we have to remember, it's you know, the same same thing. It uh your environment's not happening to you, it's happening for you. And every component of your environment is a mirror because the end game or the the goal in all of this is self-growth and self-evolution. That's why this whole game is here. SPEAKER_03: I I agree you, I agree totally with your statement, but I'm gonna digress back to something for a moment. Sure. Because you are so advanced that sometimes you leave out steps for people. SPEAKER_00: I try not to, and I don't uh I I know you try not to. I that's why I have you. SPEAKER_03: Right. SPEAKER_00: That's how we balance each other out because I know that wait a minute, wait a minute. SPEAKER_03: There is a dig in there somewhere. You're the oh yeah, dummy takeover, your while the smart one sits over and waits. SPEAKER_00: While the rest of the world catches up. SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah. But the what I'm talking about is the steps to understanding yourself more and being open and not egotistical, because I myself have been a very prideful and egotistical guy most of my life. And learning a new way to think, and and and I don't want to say that in a negative way, because and I want to do that. SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to preface it by saying, you know, I addressed this ego expectation judgment in an article that I recently wrote, uh, which you can find on uh my blog To the Edge and Back with Dr. Jenny. And I broke those three concepts down because there is a beneficial side to ego, expectation, and judgment. It's just that if you take them too far in uh in a particular direction, they can uh be counterintuitive or counterproductive. SPEAKER_03: I I agree with you because you know I used um my ego in a very false way for many years. SPEAKER_01: Okay, say more. SPEAKER_03: Uh like for example, I when when I felt like I was um inadequate in something, I would use my ego to bounce out of that. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's real common for most people actually. SPEAKER_03: And but when now I'm in a place of I'm trying to figure out how to be the best me. And and be able to take those things that I view myself as having shortcomings in. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_03: And be open and receptive to learning within those areas, and be open and receptive to other people's opinions because reality is perception. SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, and you know, remembering that higher self, God, counsels, whatever you're calling that uh higher element of yourself is always gonna put you in a situation that best fits where you're at to be able to hear the next piece of information that you need along your journey. SPEAKER_03: Right. You know, and ego for me was a filter. SPEAKER_00: Okay. SPEAKER_03: So, like for example, it filtered the stuff that I viewed as weakness or negatives, uh-huh. And moved it over into the file of one day I'll change. And or do I really want to change that? Or, you know, it would there was many parts of that that uh in my ego filter that would move things into places and we end up creating habits within our ego when it's filtering things. And so, like for example, this morning, you know, or actually I want to say this before our relationship started many years back, when i I I would not have sat and talked through things like this to people, first of all, because there'd never have been anybody that that could handle that kind of a conversation. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: And B is my ego would have got in the way. And every now and then it does rear its head. SPEAKER_00: And of course. SPEAKER_03: And so, like when our conversation this morning happened, it made me stop and say, you know, am I I'm not being the best me I can be because of why. And so like when I went and took my shower, I was in there, I was and it's like my ego and my pride and my insecurities. And so, like, I understand what ego does within it. And I hope everybody else can take an opportunity to look at it and say, when somebody brings something to your attention and you get defensive, ask yourself why. And that is the key, I think the key to that. SPEAKER_00: Definitely one of the keys. The other exposing factor is when somebody brings something to you and you immediately feel the need to go into a justification story, then that's also an indicator of looking at why. Why do you feel like you have to justify your action? Uh, because there's obviously something there to it as well. SPEAKER_03: I agree. You know, the the part of it for me is my pride, you know. So ego is pretty easy to understand. Everybody understands ego. Well, they perceive that they understand ego. Let me rephrase that. Right. And they most people log ego as negative. And all it is is a filter, it's a human filter. Because when you develop ego, then you you are generally have it's a false kind of pride. SPEAKER_00: It can be. The other side of that coin is that ego is also a confident uh assertion of identity, which is a positive side of that. SPEAKER_03: I would agree. I would agree with that. Now, with the pride side, when a pride comes in, what I mean by ego sometimes can become a false pride, is pride is something that you have accomplished before, no matter what it is. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: You you become prideful and gives you self-worth and self-value. And when you reflect your ego and develop a self-pride because that's a filter to protect yourself, your pride can be can come through as an aggressive or irritated, altered spot. Right. And for me, that's the that's where the the spot is. Like if you'd like to give your doctor perspective a pride, I would love to hear that. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, there is definitely a different energy between being proud of an accomplishment or an achievement or a growth and being proud of that. And when you're in that energy of just being proud of yourself, it comes from a place of not necessarily needing the perspectives, the opinions of an outside source. You can just be proud within yourself of the accomplishments that you've made. It doesn't make you feel like you need to go and like Paul Revere shot it from the rooftops, hey, look at me, I did this. SPEAKER_03: Look at me, look what I can do, look at me, look what I can do. SPEAKER_00: It can just be an internal proud moment of your accomplishment or something that you share with your person or be proud of what you all have accomplished together. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: When it changes energy, is when you use it as a perspective of needing to share it with the rest of the world as a I'm better than you. Yep. Projected ego projection. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: I am my prowess gets morphed into oh, you did that. Well, I did this, which is better than kind of that one-up mentality. That's where it changes. That's the pivotal point where it changes. So then you want, it's almost kind of like you you brag about it, put it in people's pace, face of wanting them to acknowledge your achievements and accomplishments so that you get a false acknowledgement of somebody else being proud of you from a negative kind of energy or vibration of this makes me better than the rest of the world. This makes me better than someone that I see is um what it does is it reveals if I'm having a perspective of myself not quite up to par in this topic, but then I do something that gives me a proud moment of achievement, and then take it to that next place of yep, I accomplished this today, and so therefore I am gonna share it with you, but share it with you in such a manner of me being better than you now because my score was this and yours was only this. Right, yeah. Right. Um that's where it changes. SPEAKER_03: I agree. And you know, for me, like and this is I think this is a thing that a lot of people misconstrue about themselves, is you you gotta be real careful of the pride as well, because this is why like I view myself as very versed in business business, very versed in in uh the ability to create financial abundance and how to maintain that financial abundance. I view myself very experienced in that. But over the last three or four months my pridefulness of business Acumen, is that right? Is it Acumen? Business Acumen, something like that has changed because you know, we're going into a whole new world. You know, we're developing this app, and I'm I've had to really stop and learn business from a different perspective. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, from a different angle. SPEAKER_03: And so my pride field. And this right, and this this is where people get confused and get off track, I think. And this is why this is coming up, is because we we revert back to ego. And instead of being humble enough to say, wait a minute, hey, you know, yes, I have multiple years experience in business, proven experience and making millions and millions and millions of dollars. And here I am now, and I'm like, oh whoa. A lot of people would jump into their ego, I got this. Yeah, you know. And instead of being humble enough to say, you know what, I don't know this. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And I've got to learn. And that can be on anything, anywhere. They know, business is just an example. Like like we're learning this happened. I've had to learn how to create websites, and I've actually learned how to code a little bit, and and how that works. And then there's a whole nother level of this that I'm not even to yet, and that is the marketing of it. SPEAKER_00: Right. Figuring out how to do it in this new playing field, yes, and utilizing the skills and abilities that you have already in existence, figuring out new creative, out-of-the-box ways that you can use what you already know and morph them into this new uh way of marketing or this new uh theme or this new platform of existence, basically. SPEAKER_03: Yes. And that's where a lot of people get challenged, I think, is understanding that hey, you can be prideful. You can but when you stop learning is where your pride will diminish. Your self-work starts stops going away because now your ego is getting in the way of learning. And when your ego should be prompting you to learn. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: And so relabeling that type of reaction is where a lot of people go wrong. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, definitely. Instead of going about it of, I have plenty of business knowledge, I got this. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: That's a much different energy than coming at it of realizing, yep, I have lots of knowledge and I'm proud of where I've come from. But this is an area where I've got to be open to learning a new way, learning a new way of existence, learning a new way of doing it, and allowing that then allows the teachers to come in, whatever it is, be it a video, be it actually somebody that teaches you how to do it or whatever, come in and you being open-minded, open-eared to be able to hear the information and actually learn from it. Whereas if you stayed in that egotistical place of I've got 30 plus years of experience in a successful business, you can tell me what you want, and I will decide if I digest it and conceptualize it in my head or not. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: That's where you begin to close yourself off and you stop learning what others have to give you because you're in that fine that mind frame that there's no more. Yeah, we call it ego on the negative side of the coin. There's no more than anybody can possibly teach me because I already know I have 30 plus years of experience. I already know everything there is to know. Right. And that'll trip you up and it will prevent you from being able to learn more and it will actually complicate your journey. And what I have seen is that when someone goes into a new adventure, they find that the old ways of doing business as they learned it, even though they've got 30 plus years, some of those techniques are not adaptable to the new way, but yet they force that into place and only to find out that it's not gonna work and they gotta go back to the drawing board, which wastes not only time and money, effort, but then they have to stop eventually and do some internal work of dealing with their very big ego about it, right? And some people never get there. SPEAKER_03: You know, like and here's a prime a very good example that came to mind when you said that. You know, we're developing this app, and there are parts of this business that I understand completely. I thought I let me rephrase that. I thought I understood completely. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And one example of that is the investor side. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_03: And what I come to realize was the investing part of it's pretty much the same. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_03: But when you change business, those investors are completely different people. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And so yes, like before I could go into the restaurant or to the real estate world and have no problem communicating that language and talking to that and talking to these people and and you know, about the product or the or the property or or the restaurant or whatever. SPEAKER_00: Or the objective. SPEAKER_03: Or the objective. Right. I have zero problem with that. But I came to the realization in this, I'm like, it is set up the same, but the people and the actions are way different. SPEAKER_00: And the lingo is probably different. SPEAKER_03: The lingo is way different. I mean, they use acronyms for everything. I'm like, huh? But everything's AFC, UFC, IPC, UI, whatever. You know. Exactly. And so I've had to take a give myself a crash course on all this stuff. And and but it's very refreshing to know that I can still do that and identify it. Now, here is the point of this that I I want to get to. SPEAKER_01: Okay. SPEAKER_03: Is when we get to the point that we're we're in this spot that we're in a rut. You know, because this is one of the things that I I heard this conversation happen yesterday at the barber shop when I was in the getting my hair cut. And the conversation was a lady, uh, she was uh breaking up with her partner. unknown: Okay. SPEAKER_03: They were getting divorced, yada yada yada. And uh she was talking about how her parents were trying to help her move out and all kind of this other things, and and her parents wanted to go everything she ever bought she should go get, or they bought they need she needs to get out of the house, and she said she wouldn't do that. And she was sitting there explaining this to the person cutting her hair. Like I was like, No, I finally had to put my foot down to my parents, no, I'm not gonna be that kind of person. You know, I I too had ownership in this breakup. I had parts of this that I did wrong. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And she had parts of it that she did wrong. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: But for me, I'm not gonna be that person. I'm gonna identify. She was sitting there in the chair, and the barber was like, Wow. Uh you know, that's big of you to talk like that. SPEAKER_00: And so what you're saying is that her parents were encouraging her to like take the group money or something. SPEAKER_03: The group money, the furniture of the house, the holster bank. SPEAKER_00: Oh, I see. Because the I guess the basically go in and clean house and take everything over from the She don't deserve nothing, you know? SPEAKER_03: I see. Okay, okay and so but she was sitting there explaining all this, and the barber was like taken aback by it. And I turned to her, I was like, man, that was that's very, very self-aware. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And there aren't too many people in this world that can that have that quality. And she said, Oh no, I didn't before. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: Until I got so sad at this moment, and I got my ego out of the way, and I sat down and talked to myself. And I and then I called a friend of mine and said, Did you see me doing these things? And the friend and she said, I want you to be brutally honest, was on the phone. She said, Yes, I did. I saw you treating this person this way, I saw you doing this, I saw you doing that. And she said that really hit home. But I had to get my ego out of the way. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely. SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Well, that you know, that's very self-aware and mad props. You know, and of course, then I told her about the podcast and yada yada yada. But I was more floored by the barber and the reaction. SPEAKER_01: Why? SPEAKER_03: Because it was at a point the barber was saying, Wow, I would never do that. I would never do that. I'm almost trying to encourage her to to not be that way. And I was like, Why would you and that? So I just turned and I was like, Why would you encourage somebody not to be self-aware? Because that is one of the biggest parts that will help you grow. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. And what was her answer? Or his answer. SPEAKER_03: He just looked at me. It just looked at me. So I was like, and and I turned back around and finished getting my hair cut. But the girl thanked me for acknowledging her self-awareness and she said, I have a lot to learn. And I'm like, Well, you've already learned the biggest step of it. SPEAKER_00: Right. I mean, you know as well as I do, my very first step in every single process is self-awareness. Yep. When you can get to a place where you are self-aware of your own actions within any circumstance, situation, event, relationship, and then taking ownership and accountability for your part in it, um, that's the biggest, that's the biggest and primary story. SPEAKER_03: 100% agree. SPEAKER_00: For sure. SPEAKER_03: It it gets to a point with people, and this is this is where I wanted this podcast to go, is when you're at a point that you're feeling like you're stuck in a rut. And uh, because that was one point that she made. She's like, I felt like the last three years was just like watch and repeat, wash and repeat. SPEAKER_00: Well, they were, basically. SPEAKER_03: And she said, you know, and then you when you can make yourself self-aware and get your ego out of the way, that's the biggest way to move forward in your journey. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely. That's when you begin to see the biggest uh change and transformation in your reality is just becoming self-aware. Right. As a matter of fact, it's such a big component that if you have beliefs in place that are mucking up your reality, sometimes just becoming aware of your part in the play or your part in the situation will automatically dissolve some of those beliefs that are no longer necessary, or even uh give them space to rewrite themselves just from becoming self-aware in the in the situation that's going on at hand. SPEAKER_03: And so that's like where uh where I'm at with me is I'm like identifying things now that I've you know, as after our conversation this morning, I'm identifying things. I'm like, because we get caught habits. You know, like uh I was frustrated and and I projected that frustration on you. But I didn't even recognize that I did it. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: I don't even remember doing it. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: Because my ego or whatever was in the way, and and that's not right either. And so I would, you know, tell people it it it doesn't matter what the subject is, because what we're personally talking about is my health. SPEAKER_02: Right. SPEAKER_03: You know, but we use the example of business. You can use this in finance, the same thing. You know, and when you stop looking at options to improve, then you're becoming stagnant in your growth. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, these concepts that we talk about and these things to try that we talk about, they apply to all areas of what I call the life pie. Relationships, business, career, finances, the steps are the same. You have to identify what and become aware of how you're interacting with the topic. And that's the key first step. I agree. I I that's the biggest component is uh awareness and then accountability. What part did I have in it? Because the the rabbit hole topic here is that it's your reality. I was waiting for this to come out, and you're you're creating your reality for the benefit of growth and expansion. And so inadvertently, whether you even realize that you're doing it or not, you're creating these situations and these interactions with people, places, and events and your reality so that you can grow and evolve. That's why I tell you, none of this is happening to you by other people, places, and events. It's happening for you by design because you're the one creating your reality. Nobody else is. You're the one giving life the meaning through your emotional guidance system, nobody else is. You're making those choices all along the way of your journey. You're deciding if this is gonna have an emotional counterpart to this thing that you've experienced or this topic. You're the one that's gonna decide how you perceive it and then what your next actions are gonna be within it, because again, we don't control other people. We can only control our perceptions, our actions, our interactions within any situation, circumstance, event, or interaction with another human being. You can't make any of those be any different until you deal with the blueprint, i.e., the belief system of where you're coming from. That's creating your reality and being aware that you are creating your reality and how you're creating it through the negative side of ego or through the uh not so beneficial side of expectation or judgment or uh weird, wonky beliefs in place, right? Then you are gonna find yourself stuck in a rut. Right. Because you basically go on a robotic autopilot doing the same thing in the same in the same loop because you're not activating the system to do anything different. Right. Because you don't know that you're doing anything because you haven't taught yourself to be aware and accountable. SPEAKER_03: Agreed. SPEAKER_00: So then it just ends up in a big loop, rinse and repeat. SPEAKER_03: Yeah, see you and you touched on, I think the next part of this is the emotions behind it. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And the the emotion for it for me can you know, for me it was like frustration, and then it was like sadness, because I was like, golly I mean, am I that much of a douche? SPEAKER_00: Would you consider yourself Summers Easter vinegar or equate brand vinegar and water? SPEAKER_03: You know, the because it it is, it can be when your ego gets in the way, then you try to fall on pride, but you can't fall on pride because you don't know everything, and then you attach an emotion to it, and the emotional roller coaster behind it was a roller coaster. It wasn't really a roller coaster, that's a little dramatic, but it was more like like dang, I'm Smarter than that. I'm better than that. And when because the day I quit learning is the day that I become the most stagnant living human being on this planet. And if you're happy with where you are, you should look at your your unhappiness. Because a lot of people hide their unhappiness by their happy. Right. SPEAKER_00: And fake it till you make it. SPEAKER_03: They fake it. And w and I don't mind telling everybody go out and get divorced today. What I'm talking about is truly look at where you are and weigh your unhappy till you're unhappy side. And look at it because that's what I had to do through this scenario was I'm happy with what I'm doing, but I'm unhappy with this. But I'm not identifying the positives. And I'm not identifying the negatives. Because that's four different things. SPEAKER_00: You're just kind of complacent. SPEAKER_03: Right. I was just like expecting the doing the same thing repetitively, expecting different results. And when you do the same thing repetitively, it it be it can become ingrained in your subconscious mind. And you don't even realize you're doing it. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Which is what we call a habit or or a program. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: You're running a background program that you're not even aware that you're doing, and it just becomes like a habitual routine in your bubble, and you find yourself falling back on it. You can even do that even when you've come to a place of awareness. SPEAKER_03: Yes. SPEAKER_00: When you recognize that, oh, you know what? This is a pattern I see, and I'm the common denominator. If you've been practicing that habit for an extended period of time, it sometimes can be a little tricky to yank yourself out of that habit. And so for the first little bit, you have to stay hyper-vigilant on catching yourself in the habit so you can make changes right then to readjust the calibration of what you want to align with. Correct. Um, otherwise you'll inadvertently go back into that habit. SPEAKER_03: Right. SPEAKER_00: You know, when you're not thinking about it. SPEAKER_03: And the emotions behind it is what navigate you. We talk about this all the time. Yeah. Your emotions are a guidance system. Oh, absolutely. And I think a lot of people attach um false happy to pride or ego. And pride or ego are not is not an emotion. Yes, it's a mindset. SPEAKER_00: Right. Especially when um they you can. You can tangle that up and you can get confused about it. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Um and like pride, like you gave yourself an example of pride, uh, being proud that you've achieved something can get very quickly tangled up in, oh, I'm so happy I achieved that. Look at me, and then you go blabbing that to everybody, ha ha, look at me, kind of energy, which turns ego, which you can miscategorize as I'm happy, right? And um, but because you've twisted it into that uh not so beneficial ego side of things, right, then it doesn't feel good anymore because it's not your natural state of being. SPEAKER_03: It causes an a a loop of presence. SPEAKER_00: And so it causes a confusion, a point of confusion. SPEAKER_03: Because this is where I see this where what I what I note we identified about me was well, this worked in the past, so I'm gonna continue to do it. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so if I can if I can expound on it just a little bit more, just to give people a little bit more to to chew on. When you when you have that prideful moment and you feel good about your accomplishment, you know, that feels really good. Then when you go and you want to share that with your friends and family, but you do it from a place of I am now have accomplished this and I am better than you. SPEAKER_03: I am almighty. SPEAKER_00: What it does is it confuses the system mentally and chemistry-wise. So then you can't identify the feel-goods in it because you've confused the feel-good with the not feeling so good, and it confuses one. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: So then they turn off the identification process of feeling good and not feeling good because they're confused. Right. And that happens because in the moment when you accomplish something, you get that dopamine drop. Yep. And this feels really good, and I like it, and yay me, and you're excited because you've accomplished it. But then the minute you stop with that and you think, oh, you know what? I'm gonna go and I'm gonna tell my sibling because they were never able to accomplish it. So I'm gonna go brag, right? SPEAKER_03: Look at me. SPEAKER_00: Most people will uh identify it as bragging. I'm gonna go brag. And that then underneath everything, unconsciously, it doesn't feel good because it's not your natural state of being, because you've taken the pride and turned it into that negative side of pride ego, um, which doesn't feel good. So then what happens is there's a different kind of chemical drop in the body. And so then it starts to mimic almost kind of like a guilt depression kind of feeling in the body, and it begins to not feel good that you accomplished that. Right. And so then sometimes what can happen is the physical and mental body can get confused, and when they get confused, it can turn the volume of that down, yeah, and then they stop being able to clearly identify the feel-good moments in it, yeah, because it got confused with a not so feel-good additional moment in it. Yep. And they got entangled uh together. So then you get to a place, if you practice that habit long enough, you get to a place where you cannot identify the good. SPEAKER_03: Or the bad. SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you can't identify the bad or the negative within it. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: So then life feels very stagnant and feels like you're in a rut because you don't feel like you have any emotion at all. And it's deflecting, yep. Right. You can't, well, and it'll bring about frustration and anger at the world, grumpiness, yeah, because you can't identify anything and you feel kind of cold and empty on the inside. Like you can't, like I've actually had clients come and say, I feel numb or empty on the inside. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And that's because you've entangled these two concepts to a point where you're confused mentally, energetically. SPEAKER_03: And the guidance system is off. SPEAKER_00: And right, and and it's kind of temporarily shut itself off because it doesn't know how to navigate both programs running. And uh the two programs kind of have conflicted with each other and basically crashed the system. Right. So then you go into this kind of just rut. I'm stuck in a rut, I can't feel anything, I feel cold and empty, I don't know how to be happy. Right. Those are some of the things you'll hear yourself or others say when they're in that place. SPEAKER_03: I don't deserve nothing. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_03: And that's how they get there is because they've well, we see this a lot in addicts and and you know, uh like a good point is they get so numb to you know we get like me, even me. I get so numb to doing what I used to do that I'm living in the past and I expect myself to repeat history, but yet I'm not that person I was in the past. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so it causes a rut. Now through your growth and development, that those things generally most often don't work anymore. Right. But you're wanting to create, it's not that you're wanting to create the past, right? It's that you're wanting to create the feeling that it gave you. SPEAKER_04: That's right. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And you don't know how to find that in your current state of being. And so you pull the history forward, trying to do the same action steps that gave it to you the first time. SPEAKER_04: Yep. SPEAKER_00: But because you're a different person, you don't always sometimes it works, and sometimes you can recreate it. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: But most of the time, I would say eight times out of ten, you're not able to recreate the scenario exactly the same because you're a different person. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: And so then it doesn't give you that same kind of feeling, not only from a emotional guidance chart, but also from a chemical perspective in the body. Right. It doesn't cause a dopamine release or a feel-good chemical in the body because you're a different person. SPEAKER_03: Right. You know, and that's what that's kind of where I was going with this is we, you know, if you just stop and look around the country and you have, like, for example, I want to say heroin addicts, they have identified an emotion and stuck it to this good feeling they get when they do heroin. Yeah. And they completely lose track of the majority of the time of when they feel sick. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_03: Because they are misidentifying emotions. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And that's what good counselors do. Good counselors will try to get you to attach an emotion to a bad thing. And bring and the good things. And they're gonna try to get you to bring that out. And that's what kind of what you did for me this morning. Like when I came out of the shower, I went down. I'm like, okay, so I'm gonna sit and identify the positives here and what's going on with my little heart uh blood pressure problems that are issues. I wouldn't say problems, this is a little minor issue that I have. SPEAKER_00: Right. But the identifying the accomplishments in the journey. SPEAKER_03: Identifying the emotion behind it as well. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_03: And it'll it'll take you down a path of understanding that wow, you know, I have I I have I'm so caught in this same rut. I don't emotionally, I don't know what to do next. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: And so when you can learn to identify and attach an emotion to those things, then it'll help you guide through it. Because that's what your emotions do. They guide you through life. SPEAKER_00: That's right. SPEAKER_03: Uh what do you pain and pleasure and happy and sad, all that stuff? SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure. I mean, they are their guidance. And so if you're experiencing an emotion that you don't necessarily care for, it's an opportunity to go within and say, okay, did I uh identify this from uh a beneficial perspective? Did I attach an emotion that doesn't belong there? And here's a very good one that um I myself have worked through and uh worked with several people. Um boredom. Yeah, just being so boredom sometimes can get projected off, especially if you're in a partnership, of I'm bored. So I'm gonna blame my partner for not interacting with me rather than figuring out within myself what is it that will bring me joy right this minute? Finding a way to self-soothe or self-entertain is uh is important. So when I'm bored, it's not because you're not playing with me, it's not because you're not interacting with me, but people will say, Oh, my partner is so distracted and doesn't have time to interact with me, and so shame on them. SPEAKER_03: I never get any attention, right? Yep. SPEAKER_00: What but uh essentially what's happening is is that you are not identifying that it's you who is stagnant or bored in your own bubble, and you're not focusing in on finding your own uh feel good joy in your own bubble. Yeah, those little moments of joy, and when you get practiced at finding those joyful moments and that frequency, and understanding that it doesn't mean you're doing backflips and having a big fucking parade all the time. That's not necessarily joy. Joy can be something as simple as going and taking a nap. That's the next feel-good thing right this minute, and letting that live in that category of joy. Yeah, it can be something that simple, or just sitting quietly in the moment, playing your favorite game, decompressing from a very busy hectic day. That can be a simple spot of just calm and joy, and we don't identify those mounds. I prefer mounds. You prefer mounds? Yes, yes, I know you are a breastman. SPEAKER_03: Not almond joy. I don't care for almond joy. SPEAKER_00: Oh, you didn't mean breast. SPEAKER_03: I'm a breast man. SPEAKER_00: Mounds. But that's uh that's one of the things too, is that joy doesn't have to be this big extravagant thing either. It can be tiny, tiny little moments of peace and joy that you put in place. Right. And that's kind of but it can also be big and extravagant. You can go to the skating rink and have a whole day of skating to the 70s disco music, and that is joyful and entertaining and pleasant. Yeah, but it can be something just as simple as sitting peacefully in your patio chair, enjoying the stillness of the lake, watching the little heron babies run around. SPEAKER_03: You know, and that's really the the point behind this whole podcast is you know, we started out on identifying those things that you know that ego and pride get in the way of because if you're if you're doing the same thing repetitively expecting different results, it's because you're not giving it emotions in the proper way. And and do you agree with that statement, right? SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're you're you're not identifying number one the awareness that it's happening. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Number two, you're not taking accountability for you having created it. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And then you're more than likely you're attaching some sort of heavy vibrational emotion to it that maybe was mistagged. SPEAKER_03: Correct. Yes. I I mean I t I totally agree with you. And so the whole process of this, so everybody listening can understand, is is getting the ego and the and the pride and the become a little bit humble with yourself if you're unhappy with your or with anything, you're not happy. Stop and identify the emotions within it and work through the process and see what in it that you own and some of it you don't own. But we've got to remember, as humans, we are not the same person we were even two minutes ago. SPEAKER_01: That's right. SPEAKER_03: And when we go around chasing our life based on what happened before, you're you're not have you're not creating what's happening now or in the future. SPEAKER_00: That's right. SPEAKER_03: Because you're not going to recreate that. You can recreate similar things, yeah. But you're not gonna recreate that exact moment. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: And you and where you have to identify the emotion within it. So when it comes to like I brought up the example, it's called it's called somebody a habitual gambler. You know, they're a gambler, or or if you are you're a president in your company and you are brought something to your attention, and somebody brings good ideas to the table, but your company is failing, or you run that jackpot when you're the gambler and you want to recreate that chemical response inside your body, just like the president of the company does wants to have that chemical response of being successful again. You've got to be prideful, I mean, remove your pride out of the way and be humble enough to attach an emotion to what's really going on and be like, okay, wait a minute. I am smart enough, first of all, to realize that I don't know everything in the world. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: And I gotta be open and receptive to reality of whatever of somebody else's thinks, but I also have to attach an emotion to that. SPEAKER_00: Right. And then also kind of identify if I keep doing this same thing, is it actually working? SPEAKER_03: Right. Yep. SPEAKER_00: If I am look for patterns. Right. If I am going through the same pattern over and over and over, is it giving me different results and is it getting me where I want to be? And if it's not, then maybe now is time to do something different. SPEAKER_03: I agree. I I totally agree. And that that emotional guidance systems is what's going to bring you out of that spot. Removal of the ego, letting the pride be there, but remember you're not the same person you were then, and attach the emotions and then uh let the emotional guidance system guide you right out of it. SPEAKER_00: Right. Yeah. If there's an emotion attached to it that you don't necessarily prefer, stop and ask yourself, okay, what is the emotion I'm trying to accomplish? SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: And first identify that. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Identify what it is you're wanting to feel so that you know where you're hidden. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you're gonna get off track and you're not really gonna know what the steps are. Then addressing the emotion you are having. SPEAKER_03: Yes. SPEAKER_00: If you're sad in a situation, identifying that you're feeling sad because some people are not even in the place where they can give it a name. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: They just know that they feel this way and they don't know if it's sad or if it's angry or frustration. Some people are so disconnected from their emotions, they can't even give it uh a name. SPEAKER_03: Right. Yeah, totally. SPEAKER_00: Uh so check in with what is it that you feel? What does it feel? Try to give it a name on that uh on that scale so that you can actually work with it. SPEAKER_03: I think we should talk about whatever the. SPEAKER_00: Let me put in this little trick. SPEAKER_03: Okay. SPEAKER_00: If you can't, if you're not at a place where you can actually identify the emotion in the traditional way, sad, happy, mad, frustrated, uh, whatever, give it its own name. Ben, Frank, Harry, and talk to it like that and have it communic, give it give it open space to communicate back to you. What are you? Okay, we're gonna call you Ben for right now. I don't know what you are, but play a little game with yourself. All right, Ben, I don't know what you are. I just know that I can I can feel that you're there. Can you communicate with me on what you are? What are you? And there'll be information that comes forth. Well, so like if if you can't identify okay, so we're gonna go here with it. In men, society teaches you it's not okay to be sad and tearful because it's weak. Okay. You follow me? SPEAKER_03: I'm following you. SPEAKER_00: So if you spent your entire life, 40, 50 years, of ignoring sadness and the tearful moments in life, you've completely almost uh dissolved and erased the title of sadness. SPEAKER_03: Okay. SPEAKER_00: It still is something that you feel, but you're not recognizing it, and you certainly at this point don't know what to call it. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that frustration of of having removed the title can create confusion, which then in turn can come out as um anger, yeah, deflection, getting mad at other people, because you you can't define it within your own self. Right. Um, it can also come out as a monotoned persona where you don't show any emotion because you don't know what it is, you've forgotten what it is. Right. So whenever you are practicing the awareness concept, making yourself aware that I feel something. Doesn't necessarily feel good, but I feel something. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: I don't know what to call it. But for now, I'm gonna give it a name. Right. Whatever that name needs to be for you. Usually for me, if I am in that situation of not knowing something or whatever, I'll give it a name, like a pain. I'll call it uh Sheila or Tom or Bobby Joe or whatever. I usually you will give human names to things. And I give it uh that what that then does is it opens up a an energy frequency, a line of communication, because you've given it identity, which then opens up the acknowledgement of its existence. Yes, you follow me because if you don't give it an identity, then you get to continue to ignore it, and it gets to continue to live in that little box where you don't acknowledge it. Right. So giving it an identity, Frank, Tom, Mary, Harry Beast, whatever, then you've given it an identity to be aware of. Oh, you Harry Beast, there you are, there you are again. I don't know what to call you yet, I don't know what to identify you as, but for now you're gonna be Harry Beast. So please, here's the microphone, tell me what you are and tell me what to do about it because I don't like the way you feel necessarily, be it a pain in your body, be it a emotion in your system. unknown: Right. SPEAKER_00: Sometimes playing that game and giving an identity in your practice of being aware will then open you up and release the resistance just enough to where you can then get that intuitive place of information of hello, nice to meet you again. I'm sadness. SPEAKER_04: Yep. SPEAKER_00: I'm sadness that you tucked away all of those years because boys are not supposed to cry and be sad, makes them weak. Then that's where the real healing and the real evolution comes from. But but playing that tiny little game with it will help you sometimes get there. SPEAKER_03: Right. And you know, you're you're hitting on the head of the the whole thing because you know, with all of this, it takes the emotions and and if you're not identifying emotion with something, you should stop and look at it just straight up. And exactly. No matter what that is, like us, like I you know, we talk about this all the time. I've been asked, are you stressed? I don't know what stress feels like. Yeah. I don't know what stress is. SPEAKER_02: Right. SPEAKER_03: And it and I'm not quite sure I want to identify it, actually. Um, or you know, like you you had a really good topic about men, but there's another part of it a lot of people don't know. Okay. You know, men when we were growing up, like you know, back in the day in uh in our age group anyway, you know, we had to be tough. SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah. SPEAKER_03: And so we literally have to we don't identify a pain. I don't I I don't identify pain. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_03: Um I just ignore it. And throughout the course of this last few weeks, I've been kind of working through that with you and and I appreciate you that and and appreciate it because you know, I just what does anything hurt? No, nothing hurts. Right. SPEAKER_00: But what was happening is is that pain is a very large indicator and communicator of the physical body. Yeah, and if you're not even identifying that part of the language, you're missing out on a very large part of the body's ability to communicate with you. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: Because if something's hurting, it's indicating that there might be something going on there in that spot or in the in the vicinity of it. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: So when you're learning to communicate with your body and discover what that language looks like, if you can't even identify with the the pain, because it's been taught that you don't feel pain, then you can't communicate with your body. SPEAKER_03: And this is part of being the best you can be. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: You know, identifying all these things and what a great little podcast. SPEAKER_00: Do it one thing at a time though. SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh yeah, don't don't try to eat the whole elephant. Don't don't don't eat the whole elephant's butt. Eat take it one little bite at a time. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, pick one topic that resonated with you if anything did, and and really sit with that and don't try to just uh you know change everything all at once. Right. SPEAKER_03: Don't turn your world upside down. We're Jenny and I are good at that, but you know, we we we'll turn our world upside down, we don't care. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_03: But I would suggest not everybody do that without practice. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_03: Some because sometimes that can make everything really quick if you don't do it cautiously. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly. SPEAKER_03: But anyway, hey, I think that I feel complete to you. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel good about it. SPEAKER_03: Hey guys, we appreciate you all listening today. Don't forget to check out our website, www.themerchcenters.org. And a little update on the app. We are in the process of working with the app store to kind of do a little bit of changes to it. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. Right. SPEAKER_03: And uh it's gonna actually turn into something quite nice. SPEAKER_00: It was already good. Yeah, it's gonna be even leveling up. SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're leveling it up. And uh so stay tuned for those and uh be paying attention to www.lucidiumworld.com. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. unknown: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: Lucidium is spelled L-U-C-I-D-I-U-M. SPEAKER_00: Yep, that's right. SPEAKER_03: And uh you'll you'll find it on the web. I'm gonna be working on that page real soon. But anyway, so be paying attention to that because that app is the app is migrating. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we are. We're migrating uh in uh a direction that we were always gonna go. Um but with the advice of Apple and uh and the app and and our intuitive intuition, yeah. Intuition, uh, we went ahead and opted to uh migrate sooner than we thought uh because we want you to have uh a really over-the-top experience with everything. So very exciting stuff going on. SPEAKER_03: Yeah, very much so. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_03: Anyway, thank you all for listening. Don't forget to like, follow, and share. SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to ring the bell. SPEAKER_03: Hey, everybody, have an awesome day. SPEAKER_00: Love ya,