Stronger Than The Stroke: When the Brain Hits Reset, What Do You Keep?

SPEAKER_05: Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to the Spiritual Grind. SPEAKER_00: Good morning. SPEAKER_05: We are back in studio after a catastrophic event. SPEAKER_00: To say the least. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I know it's hard to believe. SPEAKER_00: It's been a whirlwind. SPEAKER_05: It has. Just so you guys know, you'll probably hear it one day. I don't know, but uh I did have a stroke. Actually two. SPEAKER_00: Actually, two, yeah. That's what we've been doing for the last week. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we ended up in the hospital. Well, I started having weird confusion episodes on Wednesday last week, and then uh Sunday about one o'clock in the morning, I woke up with a blasting headache, and next thing you know, we're in the hospital, and I've got all this metallic stuff being shoved in my veins and going through all sorts of things, and so I'm I'm doing some recovery and I'm actually doing quite well. I actually think that Jenny saved my life and and stopped it. We got it stopped quick enough. And uh so I I do have a little bit of slow processing going on, but it has been uh it's been a a little bit of a journey and my my mind gets tired quickly. But yeah. Anyway, hey, you know what? Once I get this all done, I'm gonna write a book because there are things that I have discovered now with the new processes in my brain of that could help people go down the road, and I think I'll I will I'll write a book about it for sure. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely. SPEAKER_05: Because you know, like for example, I had for many years, this is a good a good thing to really recognize is I had this spot in the back of my head that I I had no feeling in my scalp. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And and then after the stroke I can now feel it all again. SPEAKER_02: Right. SPEAKER_05: And so that tells me that there was some kind of blockage going on there for years. SPEAKER_00: And so you think it's uh physical or energetic or uh well, Jerry's still out on that. SPEAKER_05: Don't know yet. No, don't know yet. It's uh uh definitely uh it was a wide opening for me because then on top of that we heard that all of my blood work is good. Um except for my cholesterol was a little bit elevated. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And everything that was up was because what they did. They the it it purposely raised my numbers on some of my labs on purpose. And so it's been kind of crazy. It's like a roller coaster ride. Don't really understand. Um, don't really care to know. I just know that uh that I will not ever allow myself to lay down and lick my wounds. SPEAKER_00: And so Yeah, you've never really been that person, though. SPEAKER_05: I'm not a quitter. SPEAKER_00: You just are always a go-getter, and you get up and dust yourself off and begin again. SPEAKER_05: And it it kind of brings me to a couple things. First of all, I love my wife, and you are the most amazing person in the world. SPEAKER_00: I love you. SPEAKER_05: You have saved you saved my life. And you know that what it does though, uh, actually having a stroke? It makes me emotional. So I may cry on on demand, who knows? But we'll see. See what happens. SPEAKER_00: That might come in handy if you ever became an actor. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, yeah. We are gonna be shooting some commercials here soon for the app. Right, yeah. Um but anyway, thank you very much for what you've done for me and and for being my definite my foundation, my stable during all this, because yeah, I am back. SPEAKER_00: Yes, you are, and and the milestones that you're achieving in just uh couple of short days. Oh yeah. Uh we just got out of that. So today is Friday. SPEAKER_05: We went home Wednesday night. SPEAKER_00: We just got out of the hospital on Tuesday night late. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: At about what, 7, 7:30? SPEAKER_05: Yeah. I lay down at 9.08. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to go to bed. And so Wednesday and Thursday were your first two days home. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, it was kind of crazy, you know, some some and so we're still very early on. SPEAKER_00: And I mean, to me, the strides that you're already making as far as normalcy are huge. Yeah. You know, like that first day where we went out and we had to go pick up your prescriptions, yeah, which was the very next morning, you wanted to I have to drive for a little bit. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they took my driving away until Monday. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it makes him crazy. SPEAKER_05: I can blame that on the stroke. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_05: But anyway. SPEAKER_00: Anyway, he doesn't like uh he doesn't like me driving. No. Um I don't drive bad to set the record straight. But I just don't drive like some Hall Benton. SPEAKER_05: Because it depends on how you define that, really. SPEAKER_00: I probably drive more like conservatively for sure. I follow the rules. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. Anyway, so I guess I navigated her all day. SPEAKER_00: That's right. You wanted to navigate me from place to place and did uh amazingly at it. Didn't miss a beat. And the brain, the areas of your brain that you had to utilize at the same time to do that is uh is very remarkable. SPEAKER_05: I 100% believe that it's going to completely clear off out of my brain. Yeah. I just I don't know. I just have that feeling. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Um and I think it's gonna be an amazing recovery. SPEAKER_00: Would you say that one of the helpful things is your mindset? SPEAKER_05: Definitely. Yeah. Um, you know, staying positive. Yeah, you know, because it it was a catastrophic event. And you know, I remember the feeling of it when we were sitting on the couch and and uh I I couldn't make sense of anything. Yeah, it was like I couldn't I was completely confused. Yeah, I was there, I was present, I could hear you, I could hear me, but nothing I I was trying to say or heard made any sense whatsoever. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: It was like like uh I mean I even tried to answer a text message. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And I I was like, I can't even read this, I have no clue what it says. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: But it was uh definitely a little bit of a uh crazy journey. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think uh the part I wanna share is we're human too, and so don't get us wrong, we went through our phases of being um mad about it, pissed off about it. You know, this is not fair, emotional fear. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think some of the things we do differently than what uh some folks do. We allow ourselves to express those emotions. Yeah. And so when the tears come, we allow them to come. When the fear comes, we allow it to come and we talk through it. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, totally. SPEAKER_00: And when the anger comes and the this is fucking not fair. Why is this fucking happening? SPEAKER_05: I wanted to punch somebody. SPEAKER_00: We talk through it and we allow that emotion to come in because holding it back and stuffing it in some box just means it's gonna come up again and deal with it. If you just go ahead and allow it presence. SPEAKER_05: You know, I think the the biggest part of it for both of us was there was zero they have no explanation. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Like there's nothing that says my I mean, my cholesterol was high, but nothing to a point of a stroke. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, although my blood pressure, my blood pressure was high, yeah, but not exorbitantly high. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_05: Like if I would have gone to the hospital prior to the stroke, they would have just sent me home. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and the listeners know that for a few weeks, we prior to that, we'd been working with your blood pressure. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And yeah, within that, there was a couple of spikes. But for overall, they that was at the very beginning. Yeah. They actually are keeping it high right now, a little high. I say high. It's running in the 140s over 90s. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, when yeah, they she told me when she's trying to keep it 150 over 80. Yeah, and she wants it to be a little higher. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's running around there. SPEAKER_05: She doesn't want the diastolic number very high, but she does want it, you know, in the 80 to 85. Yeah. SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's that was and the reality is that we achieved pretty close to those numbers uh weeks prior to that, yeah. Yeah on uh on a on a pretty regular basis with what I was doing herbally at home. And so I don't know that they would have been able to even pre-determine if we in other words, if we'd gone to urgent care with your blood pressure or gone to the ER with your blood pressure, yeah, I don't know that they would have even really acknowledged it or done anything. So that's the hardest part, I think, for you and I. SPEAKER_05: No, it was hard. SPEAKER_00: There was no it's it feels very sudden and it feels very blindsided. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it was definitely hard. SPEAKER_00: There was no definite. I mean, I have 24 years of medical training, and for me, what I battle with is did I do enough soon enough? And so I I I battle with that because in this journey, you know, I'm doing my stroke checks, I'm doing my neurovascular checks, and there was no traditional textbook even the doctors at the hospital, they did the stroke test, and and they're like, Oh my god, you're strong. That's right. You're right. He did. SPEAKER_05: They did it multiple times, multiple people did it. Like everybody's like, I don't I don't understand. SPEAKER_00: Right. Yeah. I mean, it literally took them. They they do a CAT scan when you first go in, obviously. But um, even from the CAT scan, they weren't ready to make it a final decision of, oh yep, that's a stroke period, the end of sentence, let's move on. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, at first they thought it may have been a brain infection or something. SPEAKER_00: Or a tumor. Or a tumor, lesion, you know, whatever. So they ended up making you do an MRI so they could get better imaging because they didn't even know really what it was at first. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Uh so I mean, I am not surprised that we were blindsided, but I think that's the hardest part. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it is. But you know, here's the cool part about all of this. SPEAKER_00: Do too. SPEAKER_05: The the best part of this is uh we I get the opportunity to teach people about how you empower yourself. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Um and then not allow yourself to be um d defeated. You know, being defeated is not the way to be. Yeah, you heard that. We all heard it. Somebody forgot to quiet her and she didn't have a stroke, I did. SPEAKER_00: I did. I forgot to quiet my phone again. More money in the jar. SPEAKER_05: The the biggest part of it is is understanding that you know, your recovery from this from anybody, when you're recovering from any kind of catastrophic event, it's all about your mindset. And yeah, like like a lot of people, like you said yesterday, a lot of people just lay down and lick their wounds. We've I've seen it people do that. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_05: They just you know, they're just like you just give up. They don't oh my god, that's the end of the world. And you're gonna find out, you know what's really cool is I'm gonna get whole new brain stuff. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: You know, like my my vision is so clear. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: You know, there's lots of things that that your body rew your brine re brain rewires. Yeah. And it it can be it's so it's so cool, really. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is. It you know, like I like we talked about the other day, people can either go into a mental state of uh victimhood and depression, yeah, which is quite normal to do, but if you hang out there, you really do interfere with the prognosis and the progressive healing. SPEAKER_05: Yes. SPEAKER_00: If you can get yourself past that and say, Okay, yeah, this happened, yeah, and the best place I can be is start to find the positives. SPEAKER_05: Well, when I was at the hospital, when I was in the hospital, though, I was they weren't even giving me an answer yet, but I still was like I was wanting to move and walk around, go outside, do something. I just wanted to be moving. Yeah. Because you know, that positive mindset, uh, if you allow that to trigger into you, yeah, it just the chemical the chemicals that your brain produce, it it's a hundred percent healing. I mean, it will heal and you have to allow it to be there. And anything that you do in life, if you you know, if you get your butt kicked, I've had my butt kicked a bunch of times in my life. SPEAKER_03: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: You know, I mean, all the way from when I was when I went to prison to when I when I won uh when I was worth a million dollars, millions of dollars, and then when I went broke. I've been there and every but every time it's about mindset. SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_05: And when you can defeat that negative thought process within your own mind, because you are the one I'm the one empowering this. I I am the one empowering this. And if you can think you know, uh think properly and have positive mindset, it it changes everything. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Your positive mindset and what I've taught this class for many, many, many years about positive mindset, and now I'm living it again. Again. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And and I will continue to teach it because positive mindset will change your life. SPEAKER_00: It does, for sure. And anyway, so if you can just get to that point of yeah, I may be in a shitty spot and it feels like shit, but if you can just give yourself one glimpse a day of finding that positive outlook and that positive vibration and make that the habit. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I agree. SPEAKER_00: Then it's a game changer, man. It just really is. SPEAKER_05: I mean, because don't get me wrong. I mean, I get freaking headaches, man. Some of these headaches are brutal. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: You know, you get like cramps and you get shit that's where from all the medicine they're giving you and all this other crap. And it and it can it can take a uh uh a turmoil on you. Um and and y'all bear with me because I'm still working on some words. But you know, it can be very tormenting to think about it like golly, when does this get normal? And but you just gotta keep posting. Like this morning when I got up, I actually for the first time didn't feel floaty. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Like as it's a part of a stroke is you feel floaty, like you're dis uh detached from your body, kinda. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_05: And today I'm feel pretty grounded. SPEAKER_00: Good. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and uh it's it's been a pretty uh good journey so far. SPEAKER_00: I think the other thing um with the stroke example, you know, when you go and you have like abdominal surgery, for example, you can or an abdominal injury or even uh, you know, a physical injury to the external part of the body, you can look at that wound, yeah, and your mind justifies that, okay, you know what? I feel a little off or I feel like shit or I feel junky because of this wound and I'm healing. SPEAKER_05: Um one of our coaches is going through the exact same thing right now. SPEAKER_00: Well, you give yourself permission to be slower, yes, to need more rest, to take it easy. SPEAKER_05: That's tough for me. SPEAKER_00: It's tough for you, anyways, but when you don't have that external um, you know, like surgical incision or that external wound to remind you that it's okay to take rest periods and it's inside your brain, for example, in your case, it sometimes is hard to conceptualize that, you know what, my brain went through a traumatic event and it in two places, yeah. Yeah, and it has an actual wound in two different places. SPEAKER_05: And they're purposely keeping my blood pressure high and it stinking hurts. SPEAKER_00: And I'm going through a healing process, and so when I feel like I need to rest or even lay down and take a nap, because I've accomplished a couple of tasks and I feel exhausted. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it does, it is that is one of the things for me that's really defeating a little bit that I have to stay positive about is that is I don't like quitting. I and so I want to keep going, I want to keep going, I want to keep going, but sometimes it's just man, like the other day we lay down at two o'clock and I didn't get up until six o'clock the next morning. Right, and it was okay, you know, because I had to, but it is what it is, you know. SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah. Because you've always been that just push through. Yeah, I've always been that still freaking ragged, just push through. I mean, I've seen you get up with uh bronchitis and get up high fever, I've done all sorts of stuff. Go to freaking work and I cannot talk you off the ledge, man. SPEAKER_05: Yep. SPEAKER_00: And uh so what I see is is that you're listening more to your body and honoring what it needs and taking those results. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, the perseverance behind it is is uh different. You know, you have to do it differently now because like my mind is there. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Um there are it's all there. It just like it processes a little bit slower right now. Yeah. And I'm doing it and on purpose, you know, according to the other doctors are they're doing things on purpose. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Because they want me to have good solid blood flow in my brain. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And when I try to process things and get going too fast and I get too tired, then it slows that stuff down. SPEAKER_00: That's right. Yeah. And so you're you're honoring where your body is. Yes. And that makes me feel better, obviously. SPEAKER_05: I'm trying, I'm doing my best. It's and because it is tough, it's hard for me to stop. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're definitely not a sit still, no, oh my god, guys, listen, when we were in the hospital for that few days, there was no windows to the outside. It was in a it was in a unit type thing, and they wouldn't let him off the unit, and it was a smaller unit. I was like, Well, we can walk the halls, and it literally was like this little bitty tiny horseshoe shape. And he was like, I just need I need to get out of here. And I was like, They're not gonna let you off the unit. They wouldn't I just want to go look outside, look out the window. I'm sorry, it's just not gonna happen right now. Well, they can't tell me what I can do. I'm like, okay, listen. SPEAKER_05: And then I I went to the doors and I could see out the doors when I you were asleep. And I walked out and I was walking around the thing, and then I went looked out the door, and then the window that's there is covered because they're doing construction. SPEAKER_00: That's right. SPEAKER_05: I was like, son of a Yeah. Couldn't see nothing. SPEAKER_00: So there were aggravating moments, especially for you, because you're just a you're you're a go-getter. I was a case. And you don't you don't sit still well, but you're doing very well. You're honoring your body and doing my best. Like on our first day home, you were like, Wow, it took it out of me to go to the store, get prescriptions. We had to pick up a few things at the grocery store. SPEAKER_05: And then I was done. SPEAKER_00: And then you were just kind of done. SPEAKER_05: Yep. SPEAKER_00: And I think for a minute it was like, Wow, am I gonna you had made the statement. Am I ever gonna be normal again? SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah, you but you had the monkey mind. You know, that monkey mind can come from nowhere. SPEAKER_00: But you just take it moment at a time. Yeah. And day by day it gets better and better. SPEAKER_05: And it's no matter what it is, if it's a stroke, if it's a car accident, if it's a divorce, if it's whatever it is, you know, it's about it's about keeping staying positive and uh understanding that your p empowerment, uh your self-empowerment to stay positive in your mindset is the will change the way any recovery happens. SPEAKER_00: Absolutely. Yeah, it's a hundred percent mindset. Yeah. And that's why we are can we continue on a regular basis to try and teach and get the word out of the you know the the power of the mind and doing the positive mindset workshops that we do and once once I get completely healed, I'll I'll put on another clinic and I will definitely teach people because your your decision to make the right thing today or the right your decision to make the right decision today that's positive mindset, no matter what it's about, it will change your outcome on anything that you do. SPEAKER_05: Yeah and and I'm I'm sitting here preaching it right now because I will not lay down and lick my wounds. Yeah, I won't do it. Yeah, I mean you're I mean what what what's the purpose of it? SPEAKER_00: You're rocking walking the road, man. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I'll I'll uh continue to teach people and and help every chance I get. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure. SPEAKER_05: For sure. So that's kind of where my mindset is today with is understanding the positive thought and how powerful it is. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: You know, I used to I I used to say one thing, and the only thing today that can come empower you stronger for tomorrow is your mindset today. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And when when you get to the point that you understand that how the the energy frequency of positive power in your mindset and the difference between saying I'll be okay or an I am okay is way different. Yeah. And like, you know, like even at the hospital, I told the the doctor, I I don't care. Because I am okay. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: I will be just fine. SPEAKER_00: I don't care what you say, I'm okay. That's right. I'm I'm okay. I'm better. SPEAKER_05: Slow down. You need to do this, you need to do that. You're right, I will, but I'm gonna do it three times faster than anybody else. SPEAKER_00: That's right. SPEAKER_05: This is because of how that's how I am. SPEAKER_00: Do you find that your perspective on trivial things or minor things and worrying about them has changed at all? SPEAKER_05: Totally. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it changed my Do you find that some things that you were seeing as high importance have lowered on the priority list of things to like be concerned about? Oh wait. SPEAKER_05: Does that change any? I wouldn't say that it changed a lot of things. What what it did was is it pre-re-prioritized things. Right. You know, like the more important things is uh are are you, you know, and me. That's the most important thing. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And everything else is really, you know, is it now gets pre-reprioritized down here somewhere else. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And that's okay. Because it used to be I was just go-getter, I was doing everything. I was everything was being completed to 100%. SPEAKER_00: Oh, mo most of the time. Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And and all it does is cause uh a diminished mental state when you when you put that much weight in your own plate and or you do that much to yourself that you have to really accomplish all of this stuff. SPEAKER_02: Right. SPEAKER_05: And why? SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Because I mean, don't get me wrong, we're gonna accomplish all of our goals in life forever. Right. But I don't have to do it all at the same time now. Yeah, right. It reprioritizes things, that's for sure. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: But anyway. SPEAKER_00: Very good. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I I I feel pretty complete. unknown: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, our biggest thing was, you know, because we haven't done a podcast in two weeks. About two weeks now, just because of the journey we've been on. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And I said, we need to probably get back on the horse this morning and start normalizing life. And so we decided we would get on and we're gonna put this one up and we're gonna publish it. SPEAKER_05: We're gonna put it out so people can hear it. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Um it's not something that I'm embarrassed by anything. Yeah, if you're because I am I promise you, if you were to walk up to me in the street, you would have no idea that I had a stroke a week ago. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but just so that everybody knows, there you did kind of go through that a little bit. The first uh the first kind of um I guess outing and the first meeting we had to do coming up. SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh, that was the very first day home. SPEAKER_00: You were nervous. SPEAKER_05: We had to do an app meeting, and I was you know, I was processing shit slow. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: In my mind, I was doing it slow, but to them it was like normal. SPEAKER_00: Right. And that's what I was trying to help you um kind of understand is that I'm the outsider looking in, and I would never even know at this point, or even on that day, the day after you got home from the hospital. You you can't it's not something you can pick up on unless you went through the journey with you and you know it. SPEAKER_01: Right. SPEAKER_00: But you were worried that they would know, and that was kind of a little nerve-wracking, right? SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's still it's still creates a little anxiety. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Um, that I'm gonna say the wrong thing, or because I technically right now I have a a uh card that's in my wallet that says I can say stupid shit. SPEAKER_00: Right. SPEAKER_05: And get away with it if I want to. And have an excuse. And have an excuse card. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we talked about that yesterday on our little walk. You said I have a card basically that lets me be uh Yeah, like the idiot. SPEAKER_05: Oh my god. We're we're at a walk yesterday evening. Yeah, and we're we're it was my first really walk back as we came home. We did the walk, but it was like a little small one because I had headache. And we meet this guy, and he's I was like, I was like, How you doing today? You know, just in passing. And he starts complaining about having a bruised ankle. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_05: And Jenny said, Yeah, he had two fucking strokes two days ago. So it's like, you know, it was kind of like I didn't say it to him. SPEAKER_00: No, it was something you and I said when we laughed about it. Because if you can't laugh about stuff, man, and I have a permission card. SPEAKER_05: I could have said something really shitty. SPEAKER_00: You could have, you for sure could have, because then I followed that up with, yeah, I have a fucking pacemaker and he had two strokes two days ago or a day ago. Uh, you know, cry me a fucking river. SPEAKER_05: Crammy a river, by the way. SPEAKER_00: What I said, and then we laughed about it. But uh, you know, that's just our way. We try to find jokes and fun and ways to maneuver the the situation. SPEAKER_05: But you know it is what it is, and and uh I'm I'm happy for for where I am. Yeah, I'm happy for what is what is changing in my life. SPEAKER_00: Gosh, yeah. You know what? SPEAKER_05: I am so proud of you because finding a proud moment in all of this, you know, for me is accepting the fact that hey, you know what? I get to learn some new shit. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And I get to, you know, I get to experience a part of my body that a lot of people never have the opportunity to understand. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: I get to I get to train brand new brain cells to do things. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And it's it's really kind of cool, actually. SPEAKER_02: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Because I have been, you know, I've been going through all these little brain games from on the phone and stuff from after stokes in a stroke, and I've I've I've I've already like scored 99% of all of these things. SPEAKER_00: Well, and that's one of the things you did right away, uh, was you downloaded a stroke app and got going immediately on your mind work. SPEAKER_05: Right. And I was I'm I'm already up to 210 words a minute on the reading, which is more than 90th percentile of most people's reading. SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah, because in the hospital when you downloaded the app it's 130, I could all I could do. SPEAKER_05: I found and I I failed like four times in a row. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you struggled with the 130. SPEAKER_05: And I'm at 210 this morning. SPEAKER_00: And I remember you saying, Am I ever gonna be normal? Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And now you're you're yeah, I'm impatient. It's been like four days, whatever. SPEAKER_00: It well, no, because this is Friday. Yeah. You just got discharged on Tuesday. Tuesday. This is the third day, the morning of the third day. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: I think uh, you know, I I have to remind him guys often of how many days it's been. Because it's uh there's times where it feels like it's been forever. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And then there's times where it's like, you know, this just happened two days ago. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Take give yourself a break. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you're right. SPEAKER_00: And as the co-partner in it, um, I know one of the things that I have to work with is not being uh mother hen. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. It's okay. You're I'm giving you the opportunity. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it reminds me of raising the kids. You know, I didn't uh I I let them explore and do, and if they got it right, yay, great. If they didn't, we reevaluated and they got to pick a different way to try it. If we made a mess, we cleaned the mess up. Yeah, and I really had to stop myself and say, Okay, you know what? We gotta do it this way because he needs it and because I need it. Yeah. And um, so I did. I had to stop myself because I went through uh my trauma in it as the as the co-partner, yeah, was uh I went through some fear. Oh yeah, we both did. Oh my gosh. And um not wanting And I felt bad. SPEAKER_05: I felt because of what I what happened to you, the fear in it and the right. SPEAKER_00: We had to work through the guilt on both sides because I went through a moment of did I do enough? Did I cause this? Did I delay and cause this? SPEAKER_05: You know, like the one thing that I've jumped into thinking about is like what did I do to cause all this? And that that's you can't fall in that mindset. SPEAKER_00: No, you can't stay there very long. SPEAKER_05: It can be very depleting. SPEAKER_00: You gotta you gotta pop right back out of that. SPEAKER_05: Because the reality is is the doctors all said that couldn't tell you really anything. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: They can tell me what it caused it, why it was there. Yeah, it was just weird. And like and I started having just random high blood pressure for no freaking reason. SPEAKER_00: Yep. It just popped on one day. SPEAKER_05: Just for no reason out of the blue. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah. And it is what it is when and you we we're and so one of the things I can speak about about my side of the journey. I don't know how we are on time, but I just wanted to review this real quick. Um, because as a caretaker or as a partner of someone who has gone through this, it's traumatizing to that person as well. And if you're not careful, you can get hung up in the fear place. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's easy to get caught up in in both directions. SPEAKER_00: Um and then what happens if you do that is you start treating the other person like they are not capable. Yeah. And that's not beneficial to them because then it makes them feel like they are sickly or they're not gonna be normal and and they can lose their confidence. And but for you, if you don't snap yourself out of that fear place, it makes you take on there are times it pops in. Yeah, there are. But I'm not gonna do everything for you like you're some invalid. SPEAKER_04: Right. SPEAKER_00: But people I've seen them do that. Yeah, they uh they begin to te to treat the person like they can't do anything, and the next thing you know, they've taken over the caregiver role, and they wear themselves out putting on the shoes and the socks, and yeah, and this person is capable of bending over and putting on their own socks and shoes, for God's sakes. I'm cooking supper tonight, so and it's not beneficial for either person. So if you are going through something like this and you feel like as the as the partner who didn't have the experience, that you are exhausted and you're overwhelmed or you're overworked, stop and really analyze the situation and say to yourself, you know, yes, this happened to this person that I love, but are they really capable of doing some of these things I'm doing for them? And and recognize that it would be beneficial to let them do that so they can reestablish their own confidence healing. And you can clean your plate and come out of that caregiver role and begin the supportive spouse or friend or whatever role again. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, well, that's the same thing we used to teach about tough love. Sometimes, you know, they they label it as tough love when it's really not tough love. It's really just people balancing out their prisms or their what word am I trying to think of? SPEAKER_00: Uh tell me when you want it. SPEAKER_05: Go ahead. SPEAKER_00: Pendulum. SPEAKER_05: Pendulum. Yeah, they're balancing out their pendulums again. And where you they're in the middle of a negotiation of finding new grounded space that is a pendulum of complete correctness. And so, like for me, like me and not allowing you to do everything for me is a pendulum for me, and you accepting it is a pendulum for you because now you're also going to clarify and remove the fears. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's right. SPEAKER_05: And that's what it's about because that fears can be tough, man. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then there's just one other small tiny thing I wanted to talk about in this because it's very comical, but you brought it to my awareness. SPEAKER_01: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Um not treating the person like they're not able to relearn. SPEAKER_04: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that, one of the things that I did not know I was doing when I would say words to you, oh yeah, I would over-articulate them. Yeah, you because I so I because I still feel my nursing side pop in every once in a while. And I'm like, you know, how especially that first day right before we came home, I was like uh doing some testing on you myself just to make myself feel better. And I would say, uh, can you say the word ball? And I was over-articulated. Like I was deaf or something. Like you couldn't like comprehend what I was saying. It was previously and you called me on it, and rightfully so. SPEAKER_05: You talked to me like a normal person. SPEAKER_00: Right. You said, you know, my hearing is not bad. My I can understand what you're saying, but you're saying the word in such a weird way. Yeah, I don't know what you're saying, but it's not because my brain is not working, it's because it made zero sense what you're saying. SPEAKER_05: It was like I didn't know how you said it. I was I was like, How did you even say that? I don't even know. SPEAKER_00: I was overpronouncing it because I wasn't sure. Like it's a learning experience for everybody. It was funny. It was a good job. Yeah. So he brought it to my attention. I was like, holy shit, he's right. I am. I'm like doing this whole other language that probably is hard to understand. So if you are someone that has gone through the injury and you find that your partner is doing things that are not helpful, right. Right. And it would be helpful if you would let me. Or hey, you're doing this and it's not helpful. SPEAKER_05: I think the biggest thing for me is is understanding that I'm injured. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: I'm I'm not dead. I'm not um I'm not able to do things. You know, I I am I am injured. And I'm just injured and temporarily injured. SPEAKER_00: That's right. And so, you know, it's And you being able to voice to me when I'm doing something that's not beneficial or that you can't even fucking understand. SPEAKER_05: And I was like, what the fuck do you say? And so that's what I wanted to put out there too, too because it made me feel like I was like, was I missing that made me think I was doing something wrong or I wasn't comprehending again. SPEAKER_00: Right. Exactly. SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, the fuck? You know, right, but anyway. SPEAKER_00: And so I give those people that have had these catastrophic catastrophic events happen to them, yeah, injury, trauma, I give you permission to tell your partner, hey, you're doing this thing, yeah, and it's not helpful. Or I wish you would let me do it. Let me at least try. Yeah, because there's been times as well in our new little journey here that you've said, no, let me try first. Let me do it, yeah. Let me try first, let me and it's all coming right back. SPEAKER_05: So it's not like it's I mean, I mean, hell, I'm sit I'm three days home and then we're doing a podcast again. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure. SPEAKER_05: And and when just a week ago I couldn't process two freaking words. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely. SPEAKER_05: And and I don't mean I I don't mean it. Let me let me rephrase that. I I had a g a few glimpses of confusion. And that and that's what and that's something I want to talk about about this with stroke people, and so they will understand that a stroke can last five seconds. Actually, two seconds. Yeah, because that's what happened to me. Is I it it was literally less than 30 seconds of confusion, and then everything was back to normal. And then I but then it felt weird. It was just like a weird thing, and so like no this stroke prevention. SPEAKER_00: And did you say in your mind that you heard what I was saying? It's just that you couldn't process the information to get it from your brain to your mouth. SPEAKER_05: That's one hundred percent. SPEAKER_00: And so it wasn't even like you were completely. Yeah, it was just like you couldn't make the communication. SPEAKER_05: It's kind of it's kind of a weird thing to understand, is because it was I was completely comprehending everything that was being said. Even at the lady at the At the uh the tech that admissions, everything she said, I could completely process. But when it comes to articulating anything back, that just wasn't happening. SPEAKER_00: And then one of the other things you said was when you tried to multitask. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, I couldn't do more than one thing at a time. SPEAKER_00: And then you tried to do more than one thing at a time. SPEAKER_05: Yeah. SPEAKER_00: Which now you're much better at in just a couple of days. SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah, I'm I'm totally coming back quickly. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely. SPEAKER_05: Um, I mean I it's it's no it's just a a healing process, and I I believe that I will be 100% healed in the next ten days. SPEAKER_00: That's the key, man. SPEAKER_05: And I I I know it. And I and I there's no doubt in my mind that this little image that's in my brain that supposedly is damaged, I think it's gonna come right back and it's gonna act like it was never there. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Because I I believe that. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. And that's the key. SPEAKER_05: It is the key. Anyway. SPEAKER_00: That's and that stuff's been documented with other people. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I know. SPEAKER_00: You know, like Christopher Reeves and I mean a lot of them have stories where they used their mind when other parts of their body didn't work, and they created how they wanted their reality to be until they actually were physically able to achieve that, and they did not let anybody or anything bear them from that. SPEAKER_05: There ain't nothing gonna get in my way, I promise you that. SPEAKER_00: That's right. SPEAKER_05: Nothing's gonna help me. Nothing's gonna help nothing's gonna help stop me. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And I I plan on being able to help people somewhere down the road with this. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so it is good. SPEAKER_05: But anyway, well, um, so real quick update lucidiumworld.com. You can check it out. It's our new app. Uh the Salty Tarot has migrated into Lucidium World, and it's a really cool app. Oh my god, it's gonna have metaphysical practitioners, it's gonna have a store, we're gonna have gamified avatars, it's gonna be a mystical world of just fun, exciting, and learning. We have the video of light, or the I'm sorry, the library of light, which is a uh building that's gonna have video modules where you can learn um about different things, and we're gonna have all the you know, it's it's really just a cool thing. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's turned into a really amazing thing. SPEAKER_05: It's AI powered, it's gonna be like your higher self right there, just in your palm of your hand on your phone. Absolutely. It's really a cool thing. Uh we're very excited about it. We are and I will be updating the uh um Lucidingworld.com, the domain, all the information. I have new images of all the phone, you know, because uh the coders when they create the coding, they give me images of what looks like in the phone. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And so I'm gonna put that on the website so people can actually see it, see what it's gonna look like. SPEAKER_00: See the progress of it and everything. SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's gonna be a three-phase rollout. Phase one is eight buildings, uh, phase two is seven buildings, and then phase three is eight buildings. And so we have a you know a total of all that, and then and then there's gonna be all sorts of cool things coming to we have Alien World, the uh cryptid zone. Yep, we have uh things coming up and it's gonna be lots of fun. But anyway, check it out www.lucidiumworld.com. And if you really, really want to, you can check out our website as well at w.themercenters.org. And uh go and subscribe on Lucidium World and uh we'll give you might give you the free um trial run for the beta testing. SPEAKER_00: For the beta, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_05: And we will start doing some discounted um ability for the for the practitioners that want to sign up. SPEAKER_03: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: Uh we'll do this uh if they'll if they sign up pre-launch, then we will do some discounted pricing for them. SPEAKER_03: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: And then also for people that want to subscribe early, we're gonna give you some heck of good discounts for the first year off. So that'll be coming up soon as well. SPEAKER_00: And as always, you can get my book on Amazon scripted from within. SPEAKER_05: Yep. SPEAKER_00: And then uh if you want to really go into rabbit hole areas, you can read my articles that I produce on Blogger. SPEAKER_05: Do the edge and back with Dr. Genie. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. SPEAKER_05: So that's on Blogger, by the way. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's on Blogger. SPEAKER_05: And it's actually on all the blog sites, but Blogger puts it all as the one. It's Blogger, Blogger is like the thing for the podcast where it puts everything at the same place. SPEAKER_00: Yeah. SPEAKER_05: It just puts it on blog sites. SPEAKER_00: So there you have it. SPEAKER_05: Anyway, don't forget to like, follow, and share, and tell your friends about all the good stuff going on, and y'all pay attention and uh for the updates on the stroke prevention stuff, because I am gonna put that out there. I am gonna definitely teach it because I have lived through it and I know what it felt like. SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah. SPEAKER_05: 100%. And if I can help one person, then I've done my job. SPEAKER_00: Yeah, awesome. SPEAKER_05: Anyway, don't forget to like, follow, share, and ring that bell. Hey, y'all have an awesome day. SPEAKER_00: Love ya.