The Child Within (Embracing Childlike Joy)

Speaker 1: Thank you. Hello everybody, welcome back to the podcast today with Dr Jenny and myself, James. Speaker 2: Good morning. Speaker 1: She's in the house and she's awake with her beer or , I'm sorry, root beer, her beater root beer. She drank it at the Louisiana restaurant here in town and went online and ordered a case of it because she liked it so much. Speaker 2: It's very good. Speaker 1: I guess it's a Louisiana root beer. Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a Louisiana root beer and it tastes like the non-commercial, like old-fashioned sassafras. It has a very good flavor. Speaker 1: You mean sarsaparillo , whatever Sassafras. It has a very good flavor. You mean sarsaparillo, whatever Sassafras. Speaker 2: Whatever that herb is that's in root beer. Speaker 1: Nice, I know I tasted it. It's pretty tasty. Speaker 2: It is, it's pretty nice. Speaker 1: So Dr Jenny and I yesterday we watched a movie and it really kind of rang some bells for us. And if you haven't watched it, it's out on Paramount+. It's called If it's a pretty entailed movie that really brings you back to your childlike thoughts. Speaker 2: Yeah, it has the cover of being a Disney animated silliness, tomfoolery kind of movie kind of movie. But a lot of times we'll watch movies just so that it can bring things up that we're carrying around, and it oftentimes does that for us. Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a. The underlying meaning basically, it brought Dr Jenny to tears at the end of it. Speaker 2: It did, it really did , you know, because Deep-hearted tears. Speaker 1: Yeah, it was deep in there because you know it makes you question your childhood and your parenting all at the same time. Did I do it right? Did I carry on beliefs from my childhood to my kids that I shouldn't have? You know, it kind of opens your eyes to those kind of thoughts. Speaker 2: Well, and then for me , what it showed was my sorrow of missing out on aspects of my childhood. From my perspective, I felt like I had a very shortened childhood because I viewed it that I was having to go into a parental figure, being in a household where there was only one parent. Speaker 1: Well, you mean a broken home? That's what they called it back then. A broken home? We were latchkey kids. Well, they gave us every negative label they could Broken homes, latchkey kids and what was that other thing that they said about? Uh, they had to. We had to cook our own meals and they called it something oh, microwave, microwave, something mayhem with the kids. I remember a new story about it that we were having to. Speaker 2: All the kids our age were having to cook our own meals and we were living off a microwave microwavable product so that we could survive because both of our parents were either working or we were from the air quote broken home era, you know well, you know, in our era our parents, they got to a point to where they two of them had to work. Speaker 1: You know, it wasn't like in the 50s where the dad went to work, mom stayed home all day. Yeah, it kind of grew through the late 70s and into the 80s and 90s to where it took two incomes to run a home, and so it kind of hung us out there. Speaker 2: Yeah, so where are you going with this? Speaker 1: I'm going into a direction of are we a child at heart? Speaker 2: Oh. Speaker 1: Because that's what it brought up for me was. You know IF the word the movie, if you'll learn in the movie is they're not supposed to say it but it really stands for imaginary friend and you know it makes you stop and look, Because I remember playing with my Hot Wheels, cars out in the dirt and I'd be, I would pretend I was playing with somebody and I would talk to that person. My parents would be like who are you out there talking to? Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: You know in that voice too, who are you out there talking to you. Speaker 2: Yeah, there's lots of stories that went around that I had an imaginary friend myself named Donna. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: And if I got a cookie , I needed one for Donna. The whole thing. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: I don't personally remember that, but I do remember being that kid that was just always talking to myself, but I never closed down the veil of talking to the other dimension. We call, you know, the dead people or the non-physical. So, I'm always, I've always been that kid, that weird kid that could see and hear into that dimension. So, as an Air Force brat who never got to, I guess, formulate human connection and interaction, I always had my non-physical collection of friends that I interacted with. Speaker 1: You know, let's take this to that level. Back then in our era, when we had those kind of interactions, they thought we were sick. Speaker 2: They thought we were something wrong with this psychologically? Speaker 1: You know we were told to quit doing that. Speaker 2: Oh my God this is a bad egg. Even to the point where they made that movie Firestarter, where she started things on fire and she went into I don't know child protective services and they couldn't get her fostered out because she kept catching stuff on fire because of her unique ability. Speaker 1: You know, when we come into this reality as a child, we come in with an open mind, an open heart. And you know, they say in the spiritual world that the veil is thin or nonexistent when we're born. Yeah, it is and we're taught to hide it from ourselves and bring us out of that childlike thought of you know there are other dimensions, imagination and whatever. Creativity. I like the imagination, because that's what I got told he's got a big imagination. Speaker 2: Right, but you were told that in a negative format In a negative way. Correct. Oh, don't believe him, Don't listen to him. He's got a big imagination and nothing's. That's not true. Speaker 1: Because what if, what if, what if these kids that have been hindered into those thoughts really, what if they really are talking and I'm going to talk in a sense of people don't understand the spiritual world, but what if they really are talking to other people? Or spirits, or seeing somebody else oh my God, I mean there's TV shows out there now the government studied it. So scary Many mediums. I know of one medium that's very well known as a TV show that the government is still studying to this day because her information is so accurate. It came out in those documents that the government released. Speaker 2: It's not me, by the way, but it should be. Speaker 1: Right, what if you know? That's kind of where I'm at with it, because this is a pretty deep subject that we have been talking about since last night in the movie. Because what if we were hindered and we closed our own veil? And what if there's a deeper meaning behind it? Why would everybody want us to to not talk to people or not be social with an imaginary friend or an if? Speaker 2: I mean, that is a very big, deep rabbit hole, it is. Speaker 1: I agree. I think maybe we'll go into that rabbit hole on another podcast, but I'm taking this in the direction that we've been talking this morning, in the fact of when we get told to quit acting like a kid and use our imagination and grow up quickly. Because we had to, I mean, I was coming home by myself at age nine. Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah. I can remember getting my first pet at five, five and a half and I don't know why we decided he needed warm milk for him to survive. His name was Bear, but one of my jobs was to take care of this dog, and that was the agreement is, I could have the dog as long as I took care of him. I would literally get up at 3, 4 o'clock in the morning when he was whining, take him out to potty, I would boil milk to warm it up so that he could drink it , and then we'd go back to bed. And this is at five years old yeah I was five, five and a half . I remember that very vividly, and not only were my parents okay with it, but they expected it out of me. And I'm like, and I go back and I think about it now, after having raised my own kids. Speaker 1: There is no way that I would have let my five-year-old be completely in control of a hot stove boiling milk? Yeah, probably standing on something. Speaker 2: Yeah, I was. I had to stand on a chair to reach it, taking this milk to a boiling and then skimming the top off of it. I can remember doing all of that at five years old. It's crazy. Who does that? Speaker 1: And so we get taught to not be kids, yeah, and not to have that childlike behavior, and so we go through the rest of our life chasing being a kid. You know, you even hear it nowadays. We had one of our employees just on wednesday or tuesday night, I don't remember. Speaker 2: She said adulting sucks, yeah our own, our own kids say that yeah, but we try to. Speaker 1: I know I know you specifically. I wasn't so good at it, but I tried to provide my kids the tools to stay kids, but it didn't work out too well for some reason. But you, on the other hand, were playing kickball in the living room with your kids. Speaker 2: Well, and it's just because I think I was satisfying my own internal childhood that I perceived I didn't get. And so I was using them as an excuse or a reason to act childish. Speaker 1: Yeah, it'd be penicillin kind of. Speaker 2: Yeah, almost lifestyle for them. But it wasn't because I necessarily was focused on soul-heartedly creating those experiences for them. I think I was doing it as a way to get back aspects of my childhood that I perceived that I never got a chance to have. Speaker 1: I came from a financially challenged family and I remember wanting things as a kid that I couldn't have. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: Or if I would ask, like with the story we talked about this morning I wanted the blue mongoose bicycle. Yeah, and what did I end up getting? The Walmart BMX. Speaker 2: And I'm not, was it Walmart or Kmart. Speaker 1: It was Walmart, Actually. I think it was a place called Otasco. Speaker 2: Or. Speaker 1: Gibson. It stands for Oklahoma Tire and Auto Service Center. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And organization or whatever, and I remember shopping there with my parents as kids and they had all the cool stuff. Speaker 2: Yeah, because back then I don't remember there being a Walmart actually. Speaker 1: There was a Walmart. I remember my dad smoking in Walmart when we walked down the aisles as a kid. How funny. Speaker 2: We used to go to. Speaker 1: Walmart. Every Friday night there was benches in the middle of the aisles where people could. They had smoking asterisks. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: I remember my mom and dad shopping smoking in Walmart . How, funny. Isn't it crazy? Speaker 2: That is. Speaker 1: But we get into this scenario with this movie last night and it brings back those memories of when, when you couldn't be a kid, we were when you couldn't be a kid. Speaker 2: We couldn't be kids, I mean, but we still you know, not to sound so dramatic with it we still found ways to be kids within it. Speaker 1: I agree. Speaker 2: But we were handed responsibilities that we shouldn't have had. But I think that we, 100% we were, but I think we were definitely. I mean there was a good portion of us that were test dummies, for we were over-exaggerated kids, like we would go out there and jump off the roof onto the trampoline, into the pool. Speaker 1: It's because we weren't supervised. Our parents were all working. Speaker 2: We did shit. That was like what. Yeah, I remember and our parents just never like. The other day we were having that conversation and the norm was to, when you were going to go to town, hop in the back of the truck. Oh, yeah. And ride in the back of the truck because that was just a normal place to ride. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: And there was no argument about it. There was no. Let's have a deep conversation about whether you can or not. It was like we just did it. We didn't even ask for permission because it was an okay place to ride. Speaker 1: I remember my Uncle, gary, making me get in the back of his white Dodge pickup and there was this road called Keatonville Road and it literally was hills up and down very sharp, and that was part of the fun. We jumped in the back of the truck and he would fly 60, 70-mile-an-hour down this road, jumping basically the hills, and you'd float up out of the back of the truck and then you hit the bottom, bam, you're hitting, and it was fun. Speaker 2: Even to the point where sometimes you would be made to get in the back of the truck and you didn't really want to ride back there, and so it would be like, why can't I ride in the front? Speaker 1: today I don't really want to ride back there. Or they'd make you ride in the middle Right. So the point of where I'm going with this is it puts you in that spot of confusion to where you think you didn't have a childhood but you did in your own way. But on the other side of that is we did thicken our own veils by listening to our parents, like you obviously were a lot less thinned or thickened than I was. Speaker 2: Well, but what it did was I got tagged as the black sheep. Rebellious kid that could not be tamed, oh my gosh, that's what it did. Speaker 1: You're such a bad? Speaker 2: kid Right that could not be tamed. That's what it did. You're such a bad kid Right. I was just this rebellious kid that was never going to make it, because I would not just fall in and follow the sheep. I always went against the grain because I was not willing to thicken my belt and get rid of that. Speaker 1: I wasn't willing to do that, didn't feel right. Speaker 2: And so because of that, here we are today. There was conversation in the adult mingling world that, oh my God, I'm so glad she's not my kid, she is so hard to manage. Speaker 1: Or oh, she's just See , mine was labeled as. Speaker 2: Poor Charles. Speaker 1: He just has this one bad seed that she just will not fall into rank and do what she's supposed, learning appropriately and I was labeled as hyperactive and and I learned real quick on how to tongue a pill because I didn't like the way it made me feel I would hide it. My mom thought I took it and then I'd go to the bathroom and spit it down the toilet and for many years that went on and a part of my life to where? Because it was robbing me of what I viewed as my fun childhood, because I was running around. I was, I was running around everywhere like a crazy kid. Speaker 2: Right. I mean, you know, as a child, when your veil is thin, that's because you're aligned with the higher self aspect of who we come in and really are. And some of us just were not willing to let go of that alignment because it felt good and it was right, and it didn't matter what we were called or how many spankings we got for not following in. I mean, it just didn't matter to some of us. Speaker 1: And so here we are last night, at the end of this movie, and we start reflecting upon our own childhood. What I come to realize was the the part of this is is I am projecting my blame of my childhood on other people and realizing that we spent all of our life trying to get out of high school, get out of our parents house, and the rest of our life wishing we could go back yeah you know, and that's really how it is until you create your own home and then you become this authoritative figure and you forget to be childlike in it right, and for me it's been a pretty I think there's. Speaker 2: I think each generation does their, does that same thing in their own way yeah, but I think they do it because you know, like the next generation, you're in such a hurry to become an adult, because you've you perceive that with being an adult you get to have the freedom of being able to do all this other stuff and make your own decisions, and right, but then what you weren't necessarily shown is how the back office of this administration really works like paying bills and having a job and taxes and then it's like wait a minute. I want to go home I don't really want to do this anymore. I want to go back where I had no responsibility. Speaker 1: Okay, mom and dad, I'm done with this game. I want to go home. Speaker 2: And I think what I would like to really portray to people is that you can adult and still have a childlike mentality and a childlike heart and find the balance of being okay, mixing the two. Because you're an adult doesn't mean you have to walk around serious robotic doing all the adult things. Speaker 1: Right, especially in your free time. In your free time, be a kid. Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I think , even in your work time. Speaker 1: you can Find moments of fun in it. Speaker 2: You can live from that childlike heart as well, and I think that's what makes it I think that's what makes you an interesting, well-rounded individual is when you can find the balance ability. Speaker 1: You know it's kind of piggybacks off of the relationships with material things podcast that we did Because for me it was about toys . When I was a kid, I wanted toys , dirt bikes, I wanted bicycles, I wanted Hot Wheels. I wanted many, many things. I remember the Grasshopper remote control car. I wanted that car so bad and I ended up with a Tasco brand, but you know it was still. I wanted that Grasshopper. Speaker 2: Thank God for Tasco. Speaker 1: I know right, oh, tasco, they're not a business anymore. But you know they had in-house payment plans. They did. Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean. Well, that's because of you know, you had mom and pop stores , yeah, and they had personal relationships with people. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: And they would do payment plans because they got to know the community. Speaker 1: You walk in and they call you by your first name and, oh, you want tires a day. Here you go. Here's four, just pay me a hundred bucks a week for, or a month until they're paid off, or whatever. Yeah, here's four. Just pay me $100 a week, or a month until they're paid off, or whatever. It was kind of a cool time back then. So this movie we get to talking about our childlike stuff and for me, the toys. The toys for me was what I want to. And now we're in adulthood and, like you said this morning, our kids are all gone. We don't have any kids at home, our income level is where it should be and always growing. Why not have toys? right, it's hard to find a rational excuse on why you should wait right or and it's really hard to give yourself permission to go do it because we're taught it's irresponsible, it's or I don't even know the word I'm looking for it's like that. You're just not supposed to do it thing. I myself want to throw that all out the window. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And stay in that childlike heart and laugh and have fun. And there's actually an industry out there that focuses on just people like us, yeah, being adult kids. You know, because of the old phrase, the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. Speaker 2: You mean the Generation X, or you mean the spiritually awakened woohoo us. Speaker 1: The generationally awakened people that we start to realize that it's a lot more fun to live with a childlike heart in an adult world than it is to try to be a child or an adult and go back to childhood. Speaker 2: Right, and so it's okay to have your word balance in it yeah, because I think one of the things that came up this morning that you you brought up, that I heard very loud and clear is for our entire life together. You've always talked about a specific kind of car that you wanted. Yes, yes, that's where I was going with this, and finding that why you wanted it was because you were trying to go back and grab that part of your childhood rather than create in the now. Speaker 1: The childlike heart. Speaker 2: now the childlike persona and allowing that to be okay from what you want now. Speaker 1: Because I viewed my childhood as not getting what I wanted. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And when I did have money that I created myself, my parents would use it. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: And so here I am, my friends I become envious of. You know, I gave you some examples this morning I had a friend named Chris, started on a drywall company you know brand new z28, and then a year later ended up with a brand new chevy pickup. You know, my other friends drove brand new cars. Speaker 2: and here I am driving up in a gold metal flake volkswagen rabbit convertible that didn't have any mufflers and had three bald tires and so just to bring everybody up to speed what's been going on for quite some time in our reality, to bring this up indicating that we're ready to look at it, is a friend of ours redid his childhood car, dream car. Yeah, he just bought it, bought it and then had it redone. Speaker 1: It was the car he had in high school that his parents bought him, yeah, and then he got grounded from it and his dad sold it Right, and so he replaced it, bought it and then had it redone. It was the car he had in high school that his parents bought him. Yeah, and then he got grounded from it and his dad sold it Right, and so he replaced it. Speaker 2: Right. So in his adulthood he bought it, had it restored and drove up the other day in the parking lot with it. Speaker 1: Made the memories roll in. Speaker 2: Yeah, it triggered all these memories, right? So then you're like, okay, I want to. Speaker 1: Yeah well, first of all I was like, why am I feeling this way? Right, and it's because I have not allowed myself to be a child as an adult, right. But anyway, going back to that is, you know, I became envious of my friends in school, I, so I constantly searched for ways to become friends with them because I felt the distance of us growing apart, because they also. Not only was I envious of them, but I perceived that they were viewing me as lesser than them. Speaker 2: Yes. Speaker 1: And so it created that oh yeah, I want to become an adult real fast so I can get my own money and buy my own car. And then what happens is you get out of high school and you never see any of them again anyway, Right, Until a high school reunion or something. Speaker 2: And so the whole and so what we talked about this morning is that it can actually inadvertently create kind of like a one-up syndrome. Speaker 1: Yes. Speaker 2: Where you're always trying to do something better than the other person. Speaker 1: Yes. Speaker 2: Or have a bigger better this or a bigger better that, right Feeding that aspect of monkey mind basically. Yeah correct Rather than doing it from a pure place. Speaker 1: Doing it in the right place. Speaker 2: I want it just because I want to have the experience of knowing what it's like to taste it, smell it, see it, play with it. Right, you're actually feeding some sort of lack mentality or having to do without, which is basically lack. Speaker 1: Right, I ended up in high school with the 66 Chevrolet C10 step side. That was a beat up. Speaker 2: That's a lot of words . Speaker 1: That's a lot of S's too. Speaker 2: It is. Speaker 1: It was a beat up old red pickup that had a 400 Pontiac motor in it and had those old fashioned A-frame suspension and the U-bolts in it would break constantly and I'd have to get up under there and jack it up and bailing wire it back together so I could get home. Because it went into the state of like it would jerk the wheel back and forth like driving down the road and after when it broke it how much duct tape did you put on it? Oh my God, there was duct tape on the gas tank. Speaker 2: It is our generation, literally that redefined the multiple uses of duct tape. Speaker 1: And bailing wire and black tape and super glue. I remember super gluing my rear view mirror to the windshield when it fell off. But this was a beat up old clunker. It ran well. It did run well. And then my parents got into a financial spot and had to sell it and so I went without a truck for the rest of high school. Never had one, never, never did in the rest of high school. And so the other day when he drove up, it really brought back a lot of those emotions and feelings and wants and desires and and it was a wake up call for me, yeah yeah, so let's, let's wrap it up in what does that mean? Speaker 2: exactly what we're, I guess, doing the podcast for is to teach people how to recognize when it brings things up right and and why it is right no instead of staying in that place of because you could have very well stayed in that place of like jealousy maybe in your adult adulthood and said oh you, you got one, you asshole. Now I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna get a better one, bigger one whatever, and you, you continue to live life that way and it doesn't feel quite right. It just doesn't feel quite right. It just doesn't feel quite right. And so when you go buy a toy or whatever, there's not a sustained enjoyment out of it because it was done from a place that wasn't quite right, quite aligned with higher self do. Whenever situations like that present in our reality, we keep bringing things into our awareness of why did that bring a and an emotion up that didn't doesn't feel quite right. Speaker 1: It wasn't jealousy and it wasn't envy, no, but you could just tell that it didn't feel quite right. Speaker 2: The puzzle piece didn't quite fit Right. Speaker 1: Because back in the day, when I was in high school, like I had stated, I was envious of my friends and jealous of them. And when he pulled up, I wasn't envious or jealous, but it rang a bell for me that made me stop and say wait a minute, I'm not living right, there's something wrong here, something's off kilter. You know, here I am watching him drive up in this car with this great big smile on his face . Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: Still having some work to do. He fought at getting it back from Oklahoma because his brother put a new, bigger motor in it. Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. Speaker 1: And he had a few issues along the way, because it's a new motor, I mean, it's got braking time, right, but anyway. So I see him babying it back and he pulls up to it and with it, even though he had issues with it, he was still smiling from ear to ear. Oh yeah, he was smiling. I mean, you couldn't have made him any happier if you gave him a million-dollar bill and the car. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: Because he was just happy to have it and it made me feel like wait a minute, I'm doing something wrong. But then he turns around and says to us that we taught him to open up his reality, to do it, yeah, to realize that there's more important things in life. Speaker 2: Yeah, so what does that indicate? And I think that is a beautiful opportunity to reiterate the definition of what the word awakening means. Good one iterate the definition of what the word awakening means you know, and the awakening process just means that you have the ability to consciously be aware when situations, circumstances and events bring something into your reality that dings a bell for you or feels a little like it doesn't fit quite right Right, like you're not experiencing it from the highest vibration that you could . Even though it's a great experience, even though it's a fun experience, it's just a little bit off. It doesn't quite fit and having the ability to be aware of that and dig into it a little bit off it doesn't quite fit and having the ability to be aware of that and dig into it a little bit so that you can fine-tune the whole picture of it so that it does fit and you can and do it for the right way. And do it the right way and and that you can get from it the hugeness of what you could be getting from it. The hugeness of what you could be getting from it, the hugeness of the experience, rather than just a smaller. Speaker 1: And thinking through the processes of it. And having the ability to realize that there's a bigger picture out there. Right, there's something else out there and we're here because we're here to live experiences, and that rattled me. I've never given myself permission, without recourse, of this. I've got to do this. Speaker 2: Remember we talked about the ifs, or justification of it. Speaker 1: Right right. Speaker 2: Constantly we hear and we do. If we're going to go and get something, we've got to tell this two-day story of why we're going to go do it sometimes. Speaker 1: And all reality is we're supposed to be doing things like that. Speaker 2: And at our age, no kids at home. Speaker 1: Who cares? Speaker 2: We sit sometimes and we'll tell stories to each other about okay, I want this thing and here's here's the grocery list of why you should let me have it. Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I totally agree, and that's just the lack of openness to the child heart. And so giving yourself permission we talk about permissions lips all the time Giving yourself permission to do something out of a childlike thought. Even something as simple as experiencing joy and excitement, excitement, allowing yourself to make jokes, to crack up, be silly. Who cares what anybody thinks Right? And I had a comment the other day when I was playing around at work. One of our residents was like why are you acting like that? And I was just playing around, but the other residents I was interacting with were really enjoying it. We were all laughing and cutting up and it's always been. My phrase is because I can, but really I haven't given myself full permission to can. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 1: So I've held myself back because, like when he pulled up in that car, I had this voice in the back of my head saying oh, I want one, we need to run out to the store and get one of those. Mama, it was in the back of my head but it was like oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. And so that's what you're talking about with the awakening process is I'm awakened enough and you are awakened enough to both stop and say okay, listen, it's okay to be childlike, as long as we do it for the right reasons. Speaker 2: Hey y'all, this ended up longer than we anticipated, so hang on tight for part two, maybe even part three. Thanks so much for listening. Remember to hit the like, subscribe and share.